


Cauterized

by WhisperingOrchard



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Angst and Humor, Blow Jobs, Comfort Sex, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, M/M, Romance, Single Parent Takumi, with a side of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2016-05-03
Packaged: 2018-05-29 22:47:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 29,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6397072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhisperingOrchard/pseuds/WhisperingOrchard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>History always repeats itself. He should know better. He <i>does</i> know better. Yet, he can’t help but hope that maybe, just this once, his past failures won’t persist into the present.</p><p>A story told in two parts per chapter, chronicling a tale of young love cauterized by obligation, and old love remedied with time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

When at first their eyes met, there was no spark.

All too frequently had Leo read, time and time again, about the rush of adrenaline that often accompanied the first meeting between eventual lovers. He still remembered, to this day, how much of an unadulterated _mess_ his brother had been outwardly, back when he started dating Charlotte. Obviously that worked out fine—they were now expecting their first child, after all—and yet, Leo could not help but wonder if Xander had felt that characteristic thrumming in his chest that so often seemed to plague poets of old. 

Perhaps he should have considered the fact that those eyes, though a pretty shade of brown, were generally glaring daggers at his own. Looking back, Leo knows now that he probably should have just ignored his natural rival, altogether. His name was Takumi, brother of the current owner of their family’s rival military tech company, Hoshido Inc.—a name he had been raised to altogether _loathe_ by his late father (and now, by extension, his eldest brother). Leo entered freshman year wanting nothing to do with the long-haired upperclassman he had come to detest. 

But, well, it was high school, and Takumi was confrontational and probably had an ego to stroke. 

So, naturally, fate would have it that Leo would walk into his world history class on the first day and examine the only desks available—one next to the presumed imbecile, and one next to some guy named Odin. 

Leo learned much more than desired about the guy’s “aching blood” that day. 

But on the second day, he found himself with a splitting headache, and made the executive decision to altogether avoid the nutcase, who was presently rambling on about naming textbooks (Odin would eventually become one of his better friends, but nevermind that). And so, drawing an inaudible breath, Leo sat his bag on the floor and slid gracefully into the desk beside Takumi, maintaining eye contact with the whiteboard on the opposite wall as he did so. He would not so much as grace his elder rival with the honor of exchanging glances. His pride as a son of Garon Nohr himself ultimately forbade any— 

“You’re one of the Nohr kids.” 

Well, that didn’t take long. 

Sighing softly, he shifted his eyes to glance sidelong at his upperclassman, folding his fingers on top of the desk as he articulated how to respond. He couldn’t come across as too irritated, as he did have an image to uphold. But something about this fellow was just _really_ trying at his nerves right now. After some time, he parted his lips to speak and held out a hand. “Leo. And you’re Takumi?” 

“Yeah…” An expression of reluctance passed over Takumi’s face before he reached across to shake the outstretched hand. Leo grunted—his upperclassman had a surprisingly firm handshake. They were small, calloused hands, but made up for in sheer grip strength. Furthermore, they were nice hands, but he wouldn’t notice that for quite some months. Clearing his throat, Takumi released his hold on Leo and shifted upright in his seat, straightening his spine in what Leo could only assume was a motion of dominance. “Somehow, I thought you’d be… larger.” 

At that, Leo snorted. He was far from the fitness nut his brother had been in high school, so such a statement didn’t really catch him by surprise. Hell, he was almost as thin as his younger sister. Not that he didn’t have _any_ muscle on his body, but at times, even he questioned if he and Xander were related by blood. “So did I.” 

He paused for a moment, if only because he noticed the slightest twitch of Takumi’s lips at his dry joke. Huh. So his rival did have a sense of humor beneath that stoic, holier-than-thou facade. “Anyway, I’m just going to say this now: we won’t be friends. Don’t waste your breath trying.” 

“What, with you? Wouldn’t dream of it.” Takumi _did_ laugh at that suggestion—a short, dry laugh, indicative of just how utterly _ridiculous_ the notion of friendship between them seemed to be. Shaking his head, he readjusted his curled uniform sleeves in a way that almost seemed habitual and laid his eyes on Leo again. “I’ve known you maybe two minutes, and you’re already so haughty and condescending that it makes me physically sick.” 

Leo’s eyes had widened in that moment, and Takumi gazed away hurriedly, but the underclassman took little notice. Admittedly, Leo had never expected such crassness from another with such a wealthy upbringing. “Good to know the feeling is mutual. But at least I’m not a junior in a freshman class.” 

“I’m a teaching assistant, you scum of the Earth.” 

… Did this Hoshidan menace just call him “Scum of the Earth”? Oh, he would _never_ let Takumi live that one down. Who, in this day and age, even used the word “scum”? What a nerd. 

Leo’s lips parted to retort something back, but his voice was cut off by the entrance of their teacher, a Mr. Yukimura. Gently scooting up to his desk again, Leo sat his pencil down in front of him, stealing one last glance at Takumi when he wasn’t looking. 

It was sort of interesting, really—how much pure _disdain_ the other already felt for him. He wouldn’t let it bother him too much, surely, as he held similar thoughts about his upperclassman. All the same… For whatever reason, his thoughts kept drifting back to the warm tawny color of Takumi’s eyes. 

When at first their eyes met, there _was_ no spark. 

When their eyes met a second time, however… While he would not admit it for many months more, perhaps a tiny flicker of something had licked its way into his veins after all. 

~x~x~x~x~x~x~ 

_“Takumi?”_

The bag of flour almost slips free from trembling fingers. 

“Takumi!” Leo’s voice rises—it wavers slightly, for which Leo curses internally, but manages to catch the attention of the man down the baking aisle of the market. 

Brown eyes meet brown, and the world is lost to them for a single precious moment. 

Struggling to catch his breath, Leo’s gaze clings to every last contour, every last shape, that he can possibly take in at once. Hair that once kissed the tops of slight shoulders now hangs waist-length in a ponytail of sorts, swaying with each subtle motion of his head. Takumi’s face is leaner as well, he notes—a bit more haggard with stress than he remembers, but still as distinct and well-defined as before. Despite the maturity in his facial structure, it’s definitely the Takumi that Leo once loved, those ten-or-so years ago. And, despite himself, he can’t deny that age has treated the other well, and as the thought crosses the forefront of his mind, he feels the faintest warmth begin to brew beneath his skin. 

His attention is, at last, lulled from Takumi’s superficial appearance to his general expression, and “utter shock” does not begin to describe it. Perhaps something else is underlying the surprise—after all, who expects to run into their ex at a grocery store nowhere _near_ their respective families’ estates? Leo had moved out a few years ago, since he preferred his own space. But Takumi? The Hoshido family had always been incredibly close, as far as he knew. He can only wonder what has led his old companion here, after all these years. 

“I…” Takumi’s throat bobs slowly as he searches for the words to say. “What are you doing here?” 

At that, one of Leo’s eyebrows rises. “I live here. Five minutes from here, anyway.” For a moment, his attention drifts down to the grocery basket hooked around Takumi’s arm; cans of generic-brand food fill most of it, along with a few frozen meals and cup noodles. Hardly the sort of foods he would have expected from the Takumi he once knew. He blinks once, twice, and speaks again. “What are _you_ doing here?” 

“Buying groceries.” 

“I never would have guessed.” 

An awkward silence settles in the air between them for some time, neither party knowing entirely what to say in this unexpected reunion. The glare Takumi casts at him is somewhat unlike the glares he used to receive from his former boyfriend. It’s almost… pleading? Perhaps catching the other’s attention wasn’t for the better? After all, it _was_ Takumi that called off their relationship in the first place… Oddly enough, it never occurred to him that, maybe, Takumi has no desire to even speak to him at this point. 

“Look, Leo…” Takumi’s voice, smooth and soothing and a little exhausted, breaks his train of thought. “I’m on a tight time schedule, so if you don’t mind, I really need to get finished here…” 

“That’s it?” Leo inquires with a start, and reaches outward—Takumi takes a step back as a warning, and the arm drops. The blond exhales gently, setting a bag of sugar into the cart and resting his hands back on the cool plastic of the cart handle. “You really haven’t changed…” 

At that, his former rival turns fully toward him, frowning deeper in genuine irritation. “Guess that makes two of us.” 

“We always _were_ too much alike…” 

“Leo, we’re _nothing_ alike.” 

“Said the teapot to the kettle.” 

“You know what else the teapot says? _“Fuck you”_!” 

“Thus the kettle says _“you kind of... already have”_.” 

Seething quietly, Takumi is the first to end the playful bickering and throws his free hand up in exasperation. “Leo, I wasn’t kidding. I really don’t have time for this today.” Knitting his eyebrows and rubbing his forehead, he allows his attention to settle back on his former lover. “It’s… good to see you. Really. I’m just… Busy. Really busy.” 

A small frown spreads across Leo’s features. He can’t help but get the feeling that Takumi is hiding something from him. Maybe he’s… Married? He can’t imagine what else it could be, though he sees no ring on the man’s finger. Either way, it’s not as if he’s asking Takumi on a date or anything. Then again, Takumi _was_ always an enigma, of sorts. He never had been able to “crack the foreign code” that is Takumi. Regardless, he doesn’t particularly _want_ to press the issue, and so turns a bit away from the other man. “Look, we ended on bad terms. If you want me to go, just say it outright.” 

“Leo, wait...” Takumi catches his voice and takes a deep breath before composing himself. “It’s not… That. At least, not completely. You caught me at a bad time. I have a lot going on right now, and—” 

“Would you want to get drinks sometime?” Ever-straightforward, Leo’s face tints pink as he absently scrutinizes the shelf beside them in thought. Even all these years later, he struggles with looking Takumi straight in the eyes. That oddity he still cannot fully explain; why it is that he can maintain eye contact with even the brashest of individuals, and yet feels almost naked in front of Takumi, is beyond his comprehension. He figures it’s “just one of those things”, so to speak. “I know a decent bar just outside of town… A-And I would enjoy your company.” 

The shorter man opens his mouth, shuts it tight, and opens it again, clearly mulling over his options before responding. When he speaks, his voice is quieter, less panicked than before, something Leo takes a peculiar comfort in. “I don’t know… I’m really only free on weekends, and I don’t know if I’m ready to start dating someone yet… Especially you.” 

“Then it’s not a date.” Leo shrugs his shoulders in nonchalance, straightening his posture and forcing his gaze back on Takumi. “Just old friends grabbing a beer and catching up. Think you can humor me that much?” 

Fidgeting a little with the grocery basket handle, Takumi checks his watch again before groaning quietly. “... Fine, I’ll humor you. Friday, nine o’clock sharp. What bar?” 

A sweet swell of satisfaction (he refuses to call it “giddiness” out of principle) begins to well within the confines of Leo’s ribcage, starting in his chest and creeping down to his stomach, back up to his lungs, and so on. He chances a small smile and regains his composure enough to speak. “The Cyrkensia. The bar, not the strip club. They’re next door and under the same ownership, but trust me, you do _not_ want to walk into the strip club.” 

Takumi shudders a bit at the thought. “I take it you know from experience?” 

“No, but it’s astounding what you can learn when your best friend is so vocal about his sex life.” 

Another shudder. “Niles?” 

Leo nods. “Niles.” 

Another silent stillness settles between the two, ruptured only by the ambient sounds of ruffling bags and crying children, before Takumi speaks up. “I really do need to get going, Leo. I’ve wasted too much time as it is. Kamui’s gonna kill me for being so late...” 

“See you Friday, then? Want me to pick you up?” 

“No! No, I’ll drive myself.” 

“Alright.” Leo cocks an eyebrow at Takumi’s insistence, but assumes it pertains to some subconscious effort to look more self-sufficient. The Hoshido family has always been a bit odd like that. It’s at once annoying as hell and sort of… cute. But like _hell_ is he ever telling Takumi that. “See you Friday, Takumi?” 

“Yeah… See you then.” The other gives a nervous half smile at hearing his name. It falters soon thereafter as he turns to stride down the aisle, past his former lover, and towards a pre-made brownie mix box. 

Holding back a grin for the sake of public composure, Leo eyes him for a moment longer before scooting his cart in the opposite direction. He rounds the corner, slides into the next aisle, and covers his mouth with his hands. What did he just _do_? Rekindling an old flame—an old Hoshidan flame, at that—what was he _thinking_? It was scandalous enough that they had been dating in secret in high school, but now? When he was old enough to be in the public spotlight? It was near damning. But, then, on the flip side… Well, he hadn’t dated anyone since high school, and the slightest smile Takumi had graced him with mere moments ago made his stomach twist into knots. Even now, he cannot help himself; he grins like an idiot, winces, and sighs, all at once. Ordinarily, he tries not to let excessive emotions get the better of him, but… Well, maybe just this once, he can allow himself that public flaw. 

History always repeats itself. He should know better. He should know that any bond between himself and Takumi is bound to end in disaster and heartbreak again. And yet, he can’t shake the—fuck it, the _giddiness_ that threatens to suffocate him from within. It occurs to him just how much he has missed the Takumi he once knew, and while this Takumi is probably different enough, he is eager to familiarize himself with the Takumi of “now”. 

Leo _does_ know better, and yet he can’t help but hope that maybe, just this once, his past failures won’t persist into the present. Even if they don’t wind up dating, in the end… Maybe they can garner a friendship of sorts again. Wherever this renewed connection is headed, he is at once satisfied with himself and absolutely _terrified_ at his impulses. 

Friday can’t come soon enough.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up, just for some clarification: For the sake of this fic, "Kamui" is male and a Hoshido sibling, "Corrin" is female and a Nohr sibling.
> 
> Extra long chapter this time around, because I'm not sure if I'll get the chance to write much next week. Plus, I'm finally getting back into the swing of writing, and this turned out fairly long as a result.
> 
> Happy reading! c:

“Niles, you’re crazy.”

“ _Oh ho_ , but is it crazy if it’s _true_?”

Leo’s frown only deepened as his friend pressed the issue.  Of all the lunch discussion topics Niles could have brought up that day, it had to be _that_.  Under ordinary circumstances, he harbored a tendency to appreciate Niles’s lack of… well, lack of a _filter_. But on top of his routine school stressors, his father had returned from a business trip that morning, and the very thought of walking home later that day prompted a throbbing headache at the forefront of his mind. The last thing he intended to deal with that day was _this_. “Why the _hell_ would you think that I have a crush on Takumi?”

“Because you’re forking your food like it’s—”

“Don’t finish that sentence.”

Unfortunately, as Leo leered down at his tray of cafeteria pseudo-food, he discovered that Niles was right; what was once a pile of pre-sliced pineapple had become a disfigured, frayed glop after a subconscious assault by a plastic spork. Sighing in exasperation, he dropped the spork onto the table beside it and rubbed his forehead, willing his stress headache to subdue. “Remind me why we’re friends?”

“Because you need a wingman worse than anyone I’ve ever met?”

“Since the third grade?”

Niles took a long swig of his mini milk carton before chuckling in that dark manner of his.  “Probably even earlier than that.”

Shaking his head, Leo lowered his gaze to the ground for a moment; despite Niles’s unadulterated _bullshit_ , the fact remained that they _had_ been friends since the third grade.  Would it be so wrong to confide in Niles about this minutia of his lackluster love life? He blinked up at his friend beside him and scooted closer, lowering his voice to a murmur. He hoped dearly that he wasn’t going to regret this. “... How did you find out?”

“You just told me.” Niles shot him an impish grin as Leo elbowed him not-too-gently in the ribs. “Leo, I sit behind you both in class. You think I don’t notice when you undress him with your eyes?

“When I _what?_ ”

“You know what I’m talking about. You’re not an idiot.”

A look of indignence struck his face, and a healthy shade of scarlet sprouted up beneath his cheeks. Did that mean _other people_ may have known as well? He had heard a number of jokes about their rivalry over the past few months (mostly pertaining to how similar they really are, at the end of the day), but any rumors of romance had failed to reach him. “I just find him nice to look at. Simple as that.”

“Leo,” Niles began, sliding nearer on the bench until their sides touched; he hooked an arm around his friend’s shoulders and looked him squarely in the eye. “Butterflies are nice to look at. Puppies are nice to look at. But the day you look at _either_ of those things the same way that you look at Takumi is the day you’re indicted for bestiality.”

Noting their closeness, Leo extended his arm to shove Niles away, but his friend persisted, tightening his grip on Leo’s shoulders. “What are you doing?”

“Helping you out.”

“Wha—?”

“Trust me,” Niles murmured, and slowly began to rub circles on Leo’s arm with his outstretched hand. “If it makes you feel any better, I’m not _actually_ hitting on you. Well, unless you want me to be.”

Leo’s eyes narrowed distastefully. “ _Niles_ —”

“Ah, there it is!” Smirking to himself, Niles backed away and returned to his milk carton, tongue toying with the straw in a manner that was undoubtedly meant to be lewd. “Fahr wha ish woth—” He set the empty carton down again, crushing it in a fist and tossing it onto his tray. “—old Hoshido has it _bad_ for you, too.”

That certainly caught his attention. Was Niles trying to imply that, somehow, Takumi might be interested? In _him_? By all statistical likelihood, he couldn’t imagine that was even remotely possible. And yet, in that moment, Niles sounded so sure of himself that a tiny spark of hope ignited in his chest at the implication. “What are you talking about?”

“See…” Niles slumped in his seat and sleepily shut his good eye. “Sometimes in History, he gives you this _look_ —usually after you answer something in class, or question the teach, or whatever. I wasn’t really sure what _kind_ of a look it was—I’ll be honest, it makes him look constipated. But see, he’s sitting at the table behind us right now, and you should’ve _seen_ the glare he gave me when I started making moves on you. I kinda want to try making out, just to see how _pissed_ he gets.” Another dark chuckle. “The fact that it’s you two, of all people, just makes this even more priceless. A Nohr and a Hoshido; who would've thought?”

With bewilderment flowing along his nerves, Leo craned his head back to look at the table behind them. Takumi and Oboro were sitting there, just as Niles had said.  “... And you’re sure about this?”

“Have I ever steered you wrong?”

“Many times.”

Nervously, Leo swallowed. What did this mean, for the two of them? They _were_ still rivals by nature, and nothing would probably ever change that. He knew little of the general Hoshido mindset, when it came to his family, but considering this was a conflict that had been ongoing for a number of generations, he could only assume that their sentiments towards any relationship between them two would be mutually detested. In other words, even if they ever got anywhere, they could never go out anywhere their families typically did. Hell, would Takumi even want to get involved in something so risky? They would have to play their cards so guardedly…

On top of that, they didn’t know all _that_ much about each other. He, himself, knew that Takumi was almost his equal in observational skills and greater thinking, something he had noted with great interest in class a number of times during discussions. They also probably shared a basic corporate know-how, and knowledge of the interworkings of their respective family businesses. But aside from that? Was that even enough to establish any sort of relationship—even a simple friendship? After all, Leo didn’t choose his friends lightly.

But were their potentially shared lifestyles enough to garner respect, even begrudgingly?

“... Guess I should find out how similar we really are.”

Rising from his seat, Leo exhaled slowly and knitted his brows, willing down his nerves long enough to walk the short distance to Takumi’s table. “I need to talk to you privately.”

At his tone, Oboro opened her mouth to retort, but Takumi cut her off pointedly before she could get a nasty word in.  “Look, if you have beef with me, then _please_ , let everyone hear it.”

It took all of his energy not to walk away right then and there, but something at the core of his mind urged him to persist. Clenching his jaw, he spoke a second time. “Takumi. It’s a personal matter that you don’t want getting out. Trust me on this.”

“I _don’t_ trust you.” Ever-straightforward, wasn’t he? “Let’s make that clear. But… I can humor you, and laugh my ass off when you make a fool of yourself.”  With a last exchange of glances between himself and Oboro, Takumi rose from the bench and dumped his leftover food into the trash can at the end of the table.

The harshness of Takumi’s voice made Leo cringe internally. He cast a dubious glance in Niles’s direction and instantly regretted it when he noticed the graphic hand gestures that his friend was sneaking at him from under the cafeteria table. If he _did_ wind up making an idiot of himself, he was marching right back here and kicking Niles’s ass.  “Follow me.”

Motioning toward the door, Leo led Takumi out of the cafeteria and towards their history classroom for some privacy; the lunch bell didn’t ring for another five minutes or so, thus the room was entirely empty and should have been for a good while longer.  Silently, he shut the door behind them, hoping dearly that his face wasn’t as flushed as it felt. “Takumi, we need to talk.”

“Yeah, you’ve made that pretty clear at this point.” Folding his arms over his letterman jacket, Takumi narrowed his eyes. “What’s going on, Nohr?”

“You like me.”

That appeared to stop Takumi in his tracks, as he moved to sit on top of the nearest desk. Leo could feel the other’s horrified stare fixated on his face, but refused to meet his eyes. There was a plethora of other ways Leo could have initiated this conversation, and the fact that he let _that_ slip immediately was utterly humiliating.

When at last Takumi spoke, his voice had grown dry and trembled slightly with each careful syllable.  “... What are you talking about?”

“... You like me,” he repeated, swallowing, and let his gaze drift to the ground. “And I’m... t-taken with you, as well. I know I haven’t said anything, and I know I’ve been less than friendly with you, but—”

“You’re a Nohr. You’re a freshman. You’re a _Nohr_.”

“... I know.” Tugging at his collar (of which he had suddenly become all too aware), Leo willed down another wave of blush as his heart leapt into his throat. “But… it’s a risk I’d be willing to take. If you were.”

At last lifting his attention to Takumi’s face, Leo let a small, unnerved sound flit past his lips. At least he wasn’t alone in his self-induced misery, he thought, as Takumi’s face glowed a deeper shade of red. “Look, Leo— _I get it,_ you’re trying, but…” Takumi shook his head in incredulity. “I barely even know you!”

“We’ll work on that.” Leo hoped dearly that his tone didn’t betray his anxiety. As much as he had read up on love and attraction, nothing could have prepared him for how arduous this would truly be. “I want to know you better. I think it would be beneficial for us both to—”

“To _what_? Get disowned by our families? Do you even _hear_ yourself right now?” Takumi’s voice wavered, then fell to a hushed tone. “You were right, okay? I think you’re kind of… _really_ cute. But I don’t see any way this could end on a good note, for either of us.”

Leo felt his lungs catch in his chest. That was probably the closest thing to a confession he was going to weasel out of his rival. _He’s not very eloquent…_ he thought with a start. But, then, neither was he, in moments like this, so perhaps that was for the best. _If anything, he almost sounds afraid._ Swallowing down his racing pulse, he extended his right arm to rest on Takumi’s hand, but the latter pulled away almost immediately. “Takumi, what do you want to do?”

The upperclassman rubbed his temples in thought, and a pregnant pause settled between them for a few moments. “... I don’t know. If…” A sigh. Another pause. A deafening lull lingered, words unspoken floating along its current, both parties considering the gravity of their options.  When Takumi spoke again, his words were careful, steady, calculated. “If you want to take this somewhere… I guess I would be up to trying.”

Were his ears failing him? “So you’re saying you want to try… dating?”

He must have looked as delightedly _shocked_ as he’d felt, for in that moment, Takumi’s face portrayed enough apprehensive affection to last him a lifetime. “Well, it’s that, or listen to Hinata nag me every day until graduation.” A nervous laugh birthed itself on Takumi’s from. “You know, he’s been telling me to ask you out for months?”

“You’ve liked me for _months?_ ” Leo inquired, mimicking the anxious snigger as the situation resonated with him more fully. He could hardly believe what was happening—what were the odds that all of this was just a dream? Or that Takumi had, in fact, _murdered_ him after his confession, and he had actually passed on to some bizarre alternate reality? Because those odds seemed more plausible than this. _This_ was certainly… different. “After keeping it to myself for so long… I can’t believe this is really happening. Niles will never let me live it down.”

That was enough to earn him another uneasy chuckle from Takumi. “ _Eheh…_ Listen, though, if we really want to try this, we need to be careful. We should probably keep it to ourselves, and maybe to our better friends. Hm… And no PDA, period.”

“Wouldn’t have wanted to anyway.” The notion made Leo cringe. “We need to make sure our families don’t find out, first and foremost.”

“—Which means no public dating, either.”

Leo nodded. “We’ll have to hang out at school or in private, exclusively. Or outside of town, maybe; I know my family rarely leaves the area, aside from my father, and he goes out far when he travels. Do you have a car?”

“I do, and it only fits two, so that should be perfect...” The trill of the lunch bell cut him off, signifying the end of the lunch period. “... You know, Nohr, everyone’s going to wonder what we were doing in here by ourselves. Y’know there are already rumors that we’re something of an item?”

“Are there? I hadn’t heard…” Though, to be fair, Leo could hardly hear anything in that moment. His head was in far too much of a fog to register much of anything, aside from the fact that he and Takumi were officially “a thing”.

“There must be some way we can cover this up, at least for today…” Biting his lower lip in thought, Takumi scrutinized Leo’s face for a minute. “I have an idea. You won’t like it though. So I apologize in advance. In fact...”

For the briefest of seconds, Leo’s rampant thoughts were soothed by a soft, apologetic peck to the brow. The sensation is foreign, peculiar, but… not altogether unpleasant, either. It’s oddly nice. “What are you—?”

Swiftly, Takumi grabbed the front of Leo’s uniform and threw him hard against the wall. Instinctively, Leo lashed out and kicked him in the shin. By the time their classmates had returned from lunch, the two were both doubled over in pain from their respective attacks.

“Hoshido, you son of a—”

“Well, it _worked_ , didn’t it?”

“You can't tell me that's the best you could come up with!”

Leo didn't think he had ever been that silent during World History, and his teacher made a point to say so. Stupid Takumi and his stupid slender hands throwing him against the stupid wall. Of all the people he had to go and get attracted to…

But, then, it wasn’t _that_ that had kept him silent the entirety of class, despite the throbbing bruise forming on his upper back.

His hand rose to forehead in reminiscence, and for once in his life, he could not have been more satisfied with his miscalculations.

~x~x~x~x~x~x~

To the door, to the window, back to the door, to the sofa, to the opposite window, and back to the door again.

 _Thrum-bum, thrum-bum_ , his heart begs for release from the captivity of his ribs. He checks his watch for the umpteenth time; it reads “8:26”, and Leo’s heart sinks a little. The time has almost come to meet Takumi at The Cyrkensia. But that requires getting in the car, and steering like a semi-competent human being, _and_ facing his ex again while struggling to retain any fraction of pride that he still has left.

In his defense, Leo never _has_ been cut out for human interaction.

Sighing softly, he readjusts his coat collar in the mirror by the door, touching up his stubborn blond hair one last time. He’d tried not to primp up too much—a simple gray shirt beneath a deep-blue coat, topped with a short scarf and a subtle oakmoss cologne. Surely he isn’t overdressed? Or even underdressed? He hadn’t asked Takumi to any high-society establishment or anything, so surely not…? Subconsciously, he thinks he knows just how ridiculous these rampant thoughts are, yet beside himself… He cannot help it. Try as he may, the childish churning in his stomach won’t simmer.

Dry lips part in another saddened sigh. Perhaps he isn’t worked up over tonight at all, but, rather, over the promise of whatever shrouded mystery should follow. What if Takumi _does_ want to take their relationship somewhere again? Is he, himself, ready to accept the idea of being in love again? It isn’t something that has ever come especially _naturally_ to him, to say the least—his flub of a confession in high school is testament to that.

But, then… What if Takumi _doesn’t_ want to take this anywhere? Can Leo handle the anguish of letting Takumi slip through his fingers a second time?

He tightens his scarf and shuts the front door behind him, shuddering as a cool kiss of winter air ghosts along the exposed skin of his face. It only figures that the one night Takumi is free to meet him is the coldest night of the year. But it’s not so bad, he supposes. Perhaps he _would_ mind it more, if his face weren’t already warm as a furnace from pure stress.

When at last he pulls up to the bar, Leo hurriedly parks the car and shoves his keys into his back pocket. With a deep, steady breath, he straightens out the front of his coat and cracks his neck a few times.

It’s now or never.

Reaching outward, he pushes the door open and steps into the quiet nightlife of the pub.

Thankfully, being fairly far from the center of town, it’s not incredibly busy for a Friday evening. The Cyrkensia Pub has a homey sort of lighting, warm golds and comfortable heating. It isn’t often that he stops by for a drink, if only because of its inconvenient location, but when the opportunity arises, he relishes in its atmosphere and cozy seating.  Pulling out a barstool, Leo removes his coat and sets it beside him on the bar, glancing absently around in search of Takumi.

A number of other patrons are here, but none sport that characteristic, meticulously-groomed ponytail his older companion is known for.

 _He’ll get here eventually_ , Leo tells himself, plucking his smartphone from the pocket of his discarded coat and opening his email. After all, he knows nothing of the circumstances of Takumi’s current situation, whatever they may be. For all he knows, Takumi is stuck in traffic right now, or maybe he walked into the club next door by mistake? Granted, Leo would _hope_ that a space full of half-naked folks is obviously the wrong location, but… Well, Takumi always _has_ had a knack for getting into awkward situations.

9:03 p.m.

He just needs to be patient.

Right?

Takumi doesn’t show up until almost ten o’clock that night, and when at last Takumi _does_ show his face, he could not be in a further state of disarray.

Leo chokes back a stifled, snorted laughter at the sight. The Hoshidan son shuts the door behind him, shivering as he shrugs off his shearling coat. What was once tame and somewhat regal hair now hangs in a frizzy mess from a limp, wet ponytail. His expression only matched his current state of disarray—exhausted, and taking on a pale rosiness from the bitter cold outside. Lightly dusting snowflakes off of his trousers, Takumi gives a little half-wave and plods slowly across the pub.

Leo stifles another snicker, though the smug smirk remains plastered across his face. He can’t help himself. “I see the snow got the better of you.”

Takumi doesn’t give him the satisfaction of an answer. Instead, he shoots the Nohr son an icy glare and plops down beside him, shaking the chilly residue from his gloves as he tugs them off, finger-by-finger.  Before so much as acknowledging Leo any further, Takumi waves the bartender over and curls up a bit to warm himself. “I’ll start with an atsukan, if you have it.”

Leo peers across at Takumi for a moment longer before nodding to the bartender. “I’ve got his tab tonight.”

At that, Takumi straightens himself out a bit more and frowns, finally meeting Leo’s eyes fully. “I thought we agreed this wasn’t a date.”

“We did.” Sniffing once, Leo drops his gaze from Takumi’s and focuses instead on the wall of bottles on display in front of them. “You looked so pitiful that I couldn’t help it. Tell me you didn’t walk here.”

The huffy look that crosses Takumi’s face is answer enough.

“In my defense, my car broke down in the driveway this morning. And I didn't think it would start sleeting like that.” Gently exhaling, he brushes his bangs from his eyes and notes the smirk still lingering on Leo’s lips. His frown only deepens at that. “Well, what _else_ did you want me to do? I don’t have another car, and I didn’t have your number or anything—”

“Well, since you mentioned it…”

“Look, that’s _not_ what I was implying, and you know it.”

“But… do _you_?”

“You’re still just… so _unbearable_ ,” Takumi mumbles, shaking his head before taking the saké cup in his hands.  Tipping his head ever-so-slightly, he takes a quick, small sip of the drink, letting its warmth linger bitterly in his mouth for a moment or so before swallowing. Gingerly setting the cup on top of the bar, he nudges Leo with his elbow, chancing the tiniest of smiles for his old partner. “But I’ll admit—I kind of missed it. Just a little. Don’t go getting the wrong idea.”

Following in suit, Leo takes a slow swig of his stout, wiping the froth from his upper lip with his thumb. “Wrong idea? Don’t be ridiculous. I didn’t expect you to miss me.”

He does not, however, anticipate the slightly saddened look that crosses over his drinking companion’s features. Takumi drinks another long, burning sip of his atsukan before speaking again, leaning forward a bit to peer more easily at Leo. The younger man gulps firmly at the motion and taps his fingers against the side of his glass; _gods_ , Takumi has grown up well. “So what have I missed? It’s been, what—ten years? You mentioned Niles yesterday—I take it you’re still close?”

“As close as I'll let him be. He's doing fine.” Grabbing his phone again, Leo flips through a few pictures and leans the screen toward Takumi; a picture of the two and Odin in front of a castle shines on the display. “We got bored, and Odin was dying to go, so went to Disney World a few weeks ago. That was… an experience.”

His eyebrows rise inquisitively. “Yeah? How’d that go?”

“Never again.” A slight snigger slips past Leo’s lips. “Odin scared a little girl on the Everest ride, and Niles hated every minute of it, so he passed time by hitting on characters at the park. He got so drunk beforehand that he tried to hit on Captain Hook. I still can’t believe nobody kicked us out.”

At last, Takumi full-on _laughs_ , and though he struggles to stifle it back, he can’t help himself. It’s smooth, humored, and honestly _very_ flattering. He always did have a nice laugh, Leo thought—distinct without being overly obnoxious. As the nostalgic sound graces his ears, the fair hairs on his arms rise a little, and Leo finds himself unable to look away, unable to think of much else. It’s pathetic and weak and he hates the fluttery feeling it brings, but there’s nothing much he can do about it.

When Takumi’s voice registers again, he finds himself begrudgingly asking for a repetition.

“I said, it’s a wonder you lasted the whole trip.” Shaking his head, Takumi scoots his barstool slightly nearer Leo’s, gradually adapting from the previous awkwardness of their meeting. Takumi has never been one for physical closeness, so this is a pleasant change. Hopefully it means he’s getting comfortable around Leo again. “I couldn’t do it.”

“It was more exhausting than working for Nohr ever was.” The blond takes another steady drink of his beer. “Like I said, never again.”

With a contented smile still lingering on his face, Takumi swirls the saké cup in his hand a few times and shoots a sidelong glance at Leo. “Maybe it’s time I took a vacation. How much was it? Kiragi’s been begging me to go ever since…” Takumi’s sentence trails off to an odd silence, filled only by his next hurried swig of atsukan.

“Just a couple thousand,” Leo responds, leaning his cheek comfortably on his knuckles. He’s no lightweight, but alcohol always has made him a bit drowsy. It takes a moment before Leo notes what Takumi has said fully, and as such, a minute or so passes before he asks the inevitable question. “Who’s Kee-raggy?”

His old upperclassman shifts once, twice in his seat, and says nothing more on the matter. With a curious eyebrow rising, Leo sits upright and examines Takumi’s face, searching for any indication that what he had said hit a nerve. They have spoken so naturally up to this point, so why is it that this discussion ended so abruptly? Is it something he said? Probably, if he’s being honest; at least, given their history, he wouldn’t be surprised. Leo sighs silently and takes another sip of his stout, eyes settling in on Takumi’s downturned lips—

And that’s when the implication of Takumi’s words fully hits him.  “... You have a kid.”

Takumi momentarily meets his gaze before faintly nodding his head in affirmation; he folds his arms gingerly over his chest as he does so, as if Leo’s knowledge of his son is enough to damn his very soul. “I do. He’s staying with his uncle Kamui today; figured the pub scene wasn’t great for a seven-year-old.”

“... True enough.”  Well, he supposes that explains Takumi’s hesitation to come along in the first place, or his hesitation with dating anyone. But even so, with each question answered by this revelation, ten more take their place. They had missed so much of each other’s’ lives in just ten years’ time. They had broken up for good reason, but even so, it’s somewhat unnerving to realize just how moulded by time Takumi may be. Waving the bartender over for another beer, he swivels his stool fully toward Takumi again. “Any chance I’d know his mother?”

“I don’t think so.” Hesitantly, Takumi reaches into his pocket and pulls out his wallet. “Her name was Scarlet. She dated Ryoma for a few years before they had a falling out. Don’t know if you remember that at all.”

That in itself nearly prompts Leo to choke on his drink. “You married your brother’s ex?” He can only imagine how horribly Xander would react if he’d started dating Peri, or Beruka, or any of his brother’s other old girlfriends.

At that, Takumi chances a tiny smirk and nudges Leo’s boot with his own. “Hey, shove it. Is it any worse than dating my natural rival?”

“... Point taken.”

“Anyway…” Takumi’s ponytail sways a little as he readjusts himself in the barstool; he crosses his legs, ankle over knee, and settles more comfortably into his seat. “Kamui watches Kiragi when I need to get out of the house, if he has the time.  Even before she died, she wasn’t around a lot, so it hasn’t been any major adjustment for either of us.”

Leo winces. “I’m still sorry to hear about it. Really.”

“Hmph, well, it’s been almost three years. So I’ve managed pretty well on my own, if I say so myself.” His smirk widens for a few seconds, but the strain in his voice is evidence enough that nurturing both another’s life and his own has worn him down. “... I think you’d like him. He reminds me of you, a little—much less of an arrogant prick than you always were, but aside from that…”

Leo rolls his eyes and flips him off, earning him another melodic laugh.  He shakes his head incredulously at himself as his hand falls back onto the bar; he never _could_ be truly mad at Takumi—at least, not since they started getting along in secondary school. The way that his ex speaks so affectionately of Kiragi leaves a feather-light feeling in his chest. It’s nice, hearing Takumi talk like that—as if he hasn’t a care in the world. As if his son _is_ his world. Leo takes a special comfort in knowing that he and the kid won’t share _that_ particular commonality, no matter how similar Takumi thinks they may be. “You sound proud of him.”

“The kid’s a genius.” Takumi’s eyes light up, and a serene smile passes over him again. “Not to brag, but I’m not kidding. He’s already skipped a grade in school, he beats me in shogi all the time, _and_ he can handle a bow when we go hunting. It’s almost a little intimidating.”

“Sounds like you’ve got some competition,” Leo suggests teasingly, and returns the smile from behind his beer glass. “I _do_ see what you mean by us being similar, though, if that’s the case. You were good competition, but never could come out on top...”

Takumi rolls his eyes and gives an exasperated sigh. “You’re so damn _smug_ …” Shaking his head, he slides a small picture out of a slot in his wallet and hands it off to Leo. “It must just be the blond hair that always reminded me of you.”

“He looks a lot like you.” Leo can’t deny it. The kid is the spitting image of his father, or at least very nearly, save for the crop of straw-colored hair atop his head and a faint cluster of freckles across his cheeks, presumably from his mother. “He looks so… happy.”

“Of course he does.” Slowly, Takumi pushes the bottle of saké away from his line of sight, clearly not too keen on getting drunk on cheap alcohol tonight. “But what about you? We’ve been here almost an hour, and I think I’ve learned more about your friends than about you.”

Following in suit, Leo sets his second beer glass aside and thinks for a moment. “I’m drawing a blank right now. Nothing much.”

With an incredulous look crossing his features, Takumi shakes his head and leans forward, staring Leo directly in the eyes; the latter averts his gaze in displeasure as his old rival scolds him gently. “Don’t give me that. You have to have done _something_.”

“I’m serious. I dropped out of Cheve Academy after my sophomore year and finished school out here in Valla. I went to college. Got degrees in Business Administration and History. I haven’t made any more friends, haven’t dated anyone else, don’t have any kids of my own. What else do you want from me?”

“I don’t… really know…” Exhaling softly—as Leo’s veins thrum hotly at the feeling of fleeting breath against his face—Takumi scoffs and sits back in his seat. “I’m just not satisfied with that answer. You were number one in your class, right? Why did you drop—?”

“I'd really rather not get into that right now.”

The remainder of the night is spent in similar such conversations, each more interwoven with threads of nostalgia and curiosity than the last. It’s nice, Leo thinks, sitting in civil conversation with an old friend. But, then, his time with Takumi always _has_ been that—a soothing escape from the bitter reality of his family life, and by extension, his work life. Even if Takumi isn’t perfect in all regards (as their break-up had evidenced long ago, he notes internally), he is far more empathetic to Leo’s struggles, to his weaknesses.

He’s never realized just how much he has missed that feeling.

With a quick stretch of the arms, Takumi thanks the bartender one last time and rises from the barstool. “I need to be back before midnight, or Kamui will have my head.”  

Leo simply nods and rises as well, leaving a hefty wad of bills on the bar to cover the bill. He slides his coat on and zips it loosely to his collarbone, and as he moves to push in his stool, he feels a soft gaze honing in on his movements. _Somebody’s_ staring. Smirking smugly, Leo glances at Takumi from the corners of his eyes, willing down the slight blush beginning ‘neath his skin. “You’re not as subtle as you used to be.”

“Hmm. And you’re... not as soft. In the face.”

“What are you saying?”

“I… honestly have no idea. I can’t believe I’m saying _anything_ to you right now.” As he gathers his coat in his arms, Takumi takes careful strides to the door, craning his neck back a bit to talk to Leo while they walk. “I still can’t believe I actually ran into you at a _grocery store_. In Valla, too, of all places.”

Leo snorts lightly in agreement. Slowly, he reaches out to open the door for them both, following Takumi out into the chilly winter air. _At least it isn’t sleeting anymore_ , he thinks with a shiver. “Nothing more poetic than a Walhart Mart reunion.”

At that, Takumi gives a humored grunt, stopping in front of the pub entrance and slipping his coat over his shoulders. A tiny wince graces his face as his boots sop up the slush beneath their feet.  “As much as I protested it, Hinoka said she would give me a ride home. You should probably get going before she pulls up and sees you. I’m pretty sure she knows what you look like.”

“Right…” But as he turns to walk away, Takumi’s hand clasps onto the end of his coat sleeve. “Hey, what are you…?”

“I just...” Takumi clears his throat, trying to sort out his thoughts. “As unbearable as you can be… I…” A swallow. “I haven’t been on a real date since Scarlet died. And this was nice... So, thank you.”

Leo’s lips purse as he gulps down the butterflies threatening to soar forth from his stomach. Casual conversation is one thing, but he didn’t sign on for anything beyond that. In fact, Takumi had made it explicitly clear to him a few days ago that this is _not_ a date. So why is it, then, that the older man has sent his head in a haze and his heart in a panic? “I thought you said—”

“Will you just shut up and come here for a minute?”

“You _just_ told me to—”

A pair of soft lips sweetly warms the center of his forehead, and Leo’s tongue goes heavy as lead.

Well…

He wasn’t expecting _that_.

Takumi backs off hurriedly, raising the back of his hand to his lips. “ _Ungh_ , I must be losing my mind… If Hinoka had seen that, I’d be in for it...”

The other’s voice trails off, and Leo must have spaced out _entirely_ after the kiss, for he does not so much as notice Takumi’s departure until he is standing by himself in front of the pub, beneath the warm glow of the streetlights and the thick void above his head.

And he is alone.

 


	3. Chapter 3

“ _That’s_ your lunch?”

Takumi eyed the sorry state of Leo’s food as he shut the history room door behind them; what was once (presumably) a PB&J sandwich had been squashed and smeared around by the inside of Leo’s backpack, resulting in a sticky, oddly-colored mess, all tucked neatly inside an air-tight baggy. Beside the packaged pseudo-sandwich sat a pack of potato chips, another baggy with carrot sticks, and a juice box. All in all, it was probably the most pathetic homemade lunch either of them had ever seen.

“I normally buy lunch at the cafeteria,” Leo grumbled, stabbing a bendy straw into the top of his juice box. “Guess I should have Camilla make it from now on.”

“Right…” Shaking his head, Takumi leaned back in his desk chair, popping the lid off of his bento with a satisfying _snap_ as Leo took the seat in front of him. “You Nohrs are just… weird.”

For whatever reason, Leo found himself unable to respond to that at first. Perhaps even he knew, deep down, just how bizarre his family truly was. After all, he had grown up with them and _still_ found their peculiarities unbearable at times; he could only imagine how they seemed to the outside world. They probably all saw him in the same light as they saw his family, too. The notion made him shudder. “Says the one eating a cat-shaped clump of rice.”

“It’s called a rice ball. My sister made it.” A certain tone slipped into Takumi’s voice in that moment, and though Leo could not discern what is was at the time, he would eventually come to associate it with longing. “Sakura learned from our mother, so she insists on making them for all of us when she can.”

A tiny frown tugged at the corners of Leo’s lips. It must have been nice, having a mother who would do such insignificant things out of love for her son. Sure, he’d had his older siblings to look after him over the years, but that didn’t change the fact that his mother had, essentially, left him for better or worse after taking off with some of his father’s money. And even his siblings could only reserve so much attention for him, since Corrin had grown up with such a debilitating illness through most of her childhood. Loathe as he was to admit it, it still hurt to that day, taking physicality in a burning qualm deep in his gut. Unfortunately, it was a feeling that never _would_ go away entirely, even into adulthood. “... So what did you want to talk about first? Since it _was_ your idea to have our date before class.”

“Well, can you blame me?” Smirking proudly, Takumi motioned to the empty classroom surrounding them. “We couldn’t ask for more privacy. As long as we sit far enough back, nobody can see us through the pane on the door, either. I think it’s pretty ingenious.”

“Until Mr. Yukimura decides to come back from lunch early…” Leo mused bitterly, eyeing the door as if he expected it to swing open at any moment. “Next time, we’re doing this _my_ way and meeting on the roof or something.” In reality, that probably wasn’t a whole lot better, but Leo could come up with no other ideal options at the time.

“Fair enough.” Leaning back in his seat, Takumi took a delicate bite of a rice ball and chewed it absently as he thought. “Alright, I’ve got it. We’ll start simple. Favorite food.”

Well, Leo hardly saw what relevance that had for their relationship, but simple commonalities were as good a place to start as any, he supposed. “Beef stew. Yours?”

“Miso soup.” A certain wonderment passed over his face at the similarity. “Funny how we both prefer a soup of some kind.”

“It’s just coincidence. It can’t be anything else.” Leo mirrored Takumi and nibbled away at his misshapen sandwich. “Do you have a hobby?”

“I like... archery? Sometimes I go hunting in the land behind our estate...”

That caught Leo by surprise, and his eyes flickered down toward Takumi’s arms; while they were entirely covered by the sleeves of his jacket, his arms must _surely_ have been a sight to behold, if he had been practicing archery for any amount of time. That explained why his hands were so callused, as well. His back was probably toned nicely, too, from the hoist and release motion required to shoot an arrow... These thoughts both disturbed and intrigued Leo deeply, yet he couldn’t shake the image from his mind.  “... Really?”

If Takumi had noticed Leo’s failed attempt at ogling his biceps, he did not vocalize it (and for that, Leo could not be more thankful). Instead, he folded his arms across his chest and raised an inquisitive eyebrow at his younger boyfriend. “What’s so hard to believe about that? I’m one hell of an archer, too, I’ll have you know!”

“You always seemed so… docile.” Whoops. That was a poor choice of words, if the provocation in Takumi’s voice was any indication.

“You think I’m _docile_?”

“Let me clarify.” Another bite of his sandwich. “Not docile in actions or words—heh, _definitely_ not in words—but in nature. You don’t seem like the kind of person who would enjoy taking life or having power like that. I just didn’t expect it.”

“Yeah, well, there’s a lot about me that you won’t expect. Hope you’re ready for that.”

At that, Leo grinned a little. “Actually, I look forward to it.”

The color in Takumi’s cheeks shone through in bashfulness, and Leo couldn’t help but snigger mildly at the sight. _Oh_ , how he relished in getting the upper hand on the Hoshido son. Something about it was just so… innately satisfying? Perhaps it was merely a result of their natural rivalry. Regardless, he found Takumi’s nonplused face oddly enticing, and he felt that, for whatever reason, he couldn’t get enough of it.

Takumi, however, only frowned deeper at the sound and turned away a little, clearly uncomfortable with the idea of being so flustered in front of his rival. “ _Ugh_ , you’re just so… Nevermind. Let’s move on.”

“... Right.”

He couldn’t help himself, despite his usual impulse control. Now sporting an equally warm face, Leo craned his torso forward over the back of his chair and, grabbing Takumi’s desk in a vice-grip, pecked him timidly on the cheek. His lips lingered only briefly, just long enough to feel hot skin against his mouth, before he ducked his head a little and backed away with an internal quandary. That was the first time he had initiated anything physical on his own, and it felt so _damning_ that he wanted nothing more than to retreat into himself and implode.

Sporting a pair of widened eyes, his boyfriend recoiled a little and placed a hand over his cheek in surprise. “... What was that for?”

With a tiny groan, Leo draped himself over Takumi’s desk, losing his composure in that split-second with a sigh. The whole situation between them was so suffocatingly _awkward_ he could hardly stand it; as such, he hid his face in the crook of his arm. “... I don’t think I’ll ever get used to this.”

“Neither do I, but…” Takumi cleared his throat, setting his food back in the bento for the time being. “That kind of… makes it fun, I guess? I-I mean, if neither of us has any idea what to expect, then we can keep each other on our toes. Like, right now, even. I could kiss you or kick you in the shin, or both, or neither, but you’d have no way of knowing for sure.”

“ _That’s_ comforting.”

“You could do the same to me, too. So, yeah, I guess it _should_ be comforting. I think it is, anyway.”

“Not to be blunt, but you’re a Hoshido. You find damn near _anything_ comforting.” Leo lifted his head from the bend of his elbow, making a face at Takumi’s peculiar (yet, still somewhat sound) logic, before taking note of a shift between them. When did Takumi get this _close_? He could feel faint puffs of nervous breath passing between them; his lips tickled lightly from the sensation, and he wetted them with his tongue at the prospect.  “... You’re not going to kick me, are you?”

“Well… I mean, don’t tempt me.”

That earned Takumi a single, anxious chuckle from his boyfriend before Leo sealed the distance between them, and they shared the first of many kisses to come.

It was far from the glorified kisses he had grown up reading about in works of fiction—it was softer, more slippery, and smelled faintly of seaweed, thanks to the riceball Takumi had eaten right beforehand. It became _very_ clear _very_ quickly that neither of them had any idea what they were doing, and so they split after a few seconds of contact, each blushing furiously and refusing to meet the other’s gaze. But if the present state of Leo’s mind and the haze in Takumi’s eyes were any indication, then it was a very worthwhile effort on both of their parts.

After some time spent in silence, Takumi found himself unable to help it any longer. He laughed a good-natured laugh, cupping a hand to his mouth in a failed attempt to stifle it. The sound was unexpected, but it wasn’t unwelcome; if anything, Leo found it somewhat pleasant to listen to in such an intimate setting—or, at least, as intimate a setting as a high school classroom could possibly be. “I wonder if all Nohrs are that bad at kissing...”

“You have a lot of snark for someone who _kept his eyes open the whole time_.”

Much to his surprise, Takumi took no offense to the comment; rather, he shook his head and finally managed to look straight at Leo without laughing. “Y’know, that makes two of us.”

“What?”

“Well…” It was Takumi’s turn to smirk smugly, fiddling with his chopsticks as he spoke. “I mean, how could you know if my eyes were open, unless _yours_ were open, too?”

“... Alright, so we’ve come to the conclusion that we’re both _terrible_ at this.” Resting his arms on the back of his chair, Leo let his tongue dart out and moisten his lips again, remembering the tingly sensation of the kiss. “At least we’ll have time to practice, with summer coming up. If we can figure out a way to meet up without our families knowing...”

A light of uncertainty glinted in Takumi’s eyes at the suggestion. “That’s… I forgot about that. I guess we can always call each other? You have a cell, right?”

Leo patted the sliding cell in his pants pocket, pursing his lips. “I do. I might have to improvise to explain why I’m getting so many calls. But that’s no great struggle—they’ll believe anything. Corrin might be hard to convince, but I’ll manage.”

“Heh, Kamui is the same way. He’s so _nosy,_ and he catches everything. It drives me crazy.” Grabbing the second rice ball, Takumi split it in half to the best of his ability and handed one side out to Leo. “If you want it, feel free. I can hardly watch you eat that thing anymore.”

Leo begrudgingly plucked the rice ball from the box and examined it curiously. It looked edible enough, even if the prospect of eating _anything_ shaped like a cat’s face was somewhat unnerving. He took a tentative nibble from the ear and chewed for quite some time before speaking. “It’s different, but not bad. Elise would love something like this...”

“I’d offer to bring an extra next time, but—”

“Right. Bad idea.” It _was_ a fairly distinctly foreign treat, from what he could tell. “If you’ll allow me a moment of brevity, you aren’t what I expected, Takumi. And for that, I’m… honestly very glad. I appreciate it.”

“That makes two of us,” Takumi said, a softness settling in his features. “Not that you’re any less _unbearable_ than you were before, but… I’ve never felt like I’ve had a real equal before. If that makes _me_ unbearable too, then… maybe that’s okay.”

Takumi’s words struck Leo firmly with each gentle syllable, and a funny feeling began to brew in the pit of his stomach. What he said rang true with Leo as well, and perhaps _that_ was the factor that had drawn him to his natural rival so much in the first place. They were different people, yes—himself more calculating and confident, and Takumi more emotionally intelligent and insecure in his actions—but they complimented each other well. Their experiences, though assuredly different, were similar enough that, perhaps, they had more in common with each other than they did with either of their respective families. It was an odd thought, certainly, and yet… The more time they spent in each others’ company, the more the notion started to ring true.

“You’d better get back to your seat, Leo.” Takumi shook him from his thoughts with a snap of the fingers. “Hey, Earth to Leo. The bell’s gonna ring pretty soon. Go sit in your seat, or I’m gonna have to shove you again.”

“Like I would let you do that a second time,” the Nohr son retorted. “Same time tomorrow? On the roof?”

“Sure, sure. If I _have_ to.”

Gathering his scattered edibles, Leo leaned over to steal one more chaste kiss from his new boyfriend.

“I’d like you to.”

~x~x~x~x~x~x~

Nearly a week has passed since their “not-a-date” date, and Leo hasn’t heard a thing from Takumi.

It’s his own fault, naturally—in the rush of nostalgic ecstasy brought on by their meeting, Leo had neglected to ask for a phone number or any other form of contact information. Even if, by some miracle, Takumi still has the same number from high school, Leo isn’t even certain that he has his former partner’s info anymore. Furthermore, he hasn’t the foggiest idea where Takumi lives in this town, so meeting in person is equally as damn-near impossible. Why couldn’t he have just mentioned it as they were leaving? Hell, Takumi had even brought it up briefly during their reunion—albeit jokingly, but even so… How arduous would it have been to ask for it seriously? Why hadn’t he just _asked_?

Thoughtfully, he lifts a hand to his forehead and massages the spot where Takumi had kissed him. It’s somehow different than the first time he had been kissed there; it had lingered longer, for one thing, and it seemed almost sweeter— _sadder_. Surely he isn’t imagining things? He knows how the mind oft plays tricks all willy-nilly in matters of the heart, and yet he cannot, for the life of him, shake the feeling that Takumi honestly meant something by the way he treated him that night. Takumi had not acted in mockery or disdain toward Leo, but rather spoke and carried himself in a way that made the younger man’s heart yearn something awful.

Unless Takumi was trying to lead him on (which doesn’t seem like his style at all), he may very well miss Leo in the same way.

… Is that even _possible_? Maybe wishful thinking on his part? What was the chance of Takumi returning the sentiment after ten years of separation? On top of that, Takumi had been very involved in the love life of another, and if she had died as suddenly as it had sounded, then perhaps Takumi harbors no interest in rekindling _any_ relationship right now?

But… If that were the case, Takumi wouldn’t have called their last outing a “date”, right?

But, then, what if his mind is overanalyzing this? Matters of love often have exception, after all.

With a low, reverberating groan, Leo buries his face into a couch pillow and slinks down to lay on the floor. Much as he has missed having a romance of sorts, he certainly has _not_ missed the overwhelming feeling of dread that so often preceded it.

“You home?” The sound of the front door creaking open greets his ears, but he makes no motion to respond to Corrin’s voice. “Um… Leo? Are you feeling okay?”

Well, he supposes there’s no skirting around the issue, or at least the general feelings involved in the matter. Lifting the pillow briefly from his face, he shoots a small glare at his older sister from across the room. “Not that I don’t appreciate it, but I think you know the answer to that already.”

At that, Corrin rolls her eyes so far back that Leo imagines, in his lovestruck delirium, that they could slip entirely back into her head, like something out of an old horror flick. “Leo, you’ve been like this for almost a week now. I mean it—do you need to talk about anything?”

“I don’t—”

“ _I don’t need your help, Corrin._ ”  She alters her voice to imitate her younger brother before striding across the living room floor and coming to stand at his side. “If you say that one more time, I’m calling Xander and _he_ can deal with you for a few days.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Try me.” Sighing gently, she lowers herself to the ground and sits beside him, absentmindedly digging her fingers into the carpet. When she speaks again, her tone is milder, and the concern in her voice is almost soothing. “Leo, really, what’s the matter?”

Deep down, Leo wants nothing more than to spill his problems to his big sister—to reveal to her this secret that has been lapping away at him like gray waves on the shore. But even if she, too, has broken off from the family business, she _is_ still a Nohr, and he can’t be certain that she would take the news of his yet-unclear relationship with Takumi well. Furthermore, even if she was understanding, he doesn’t know if he would be capable of saying what’s on his mind, anyway; it simply isn’t in his nature. Swallowing down a grumble of frustration, he lowers the pillow to his chest and holds it tighter; his eyelids slip shut as he sighs. “Nothing you would understand, Sister.”

His brow tenses briefly as a few of her slender fingers begin to sift through his hair; as per usual, his whole body slowly drifts into a state of requiescence at the touch. Despite himself, he leans his head more fully against the tender hand at the top of his skull, willing away his distresses as if she could extract them from his mind. She scrutinizes his face for a moment and allows him a minute of peace before speaking again. “Work problems? Girl problems?”

“... Boy problems.”

“Ah.” The pity in her gaze makes him frown, though she takes little notice and continues to gingerly comb through the mess of blond atop his head. “What wouldn’t I understand? I’ve had my share of relationships, too, you know.”

“You couldn’t help with this.”

“Are you sure you’re not just _against_ me helping?”

“Trust me,” he grumbles sleepily, setting the pillow aside for the time being. As much as he doesn’t want to give up his crutch, he knows that it can only do so much good at this point; besides, he needn’t look any more pathetic than he probably already does.

Corrin sighs gently and stops stroking his hair. “Fine, fine. Can you at least tell me his name? Give me _something_ to go off of.”

A small part of Leo still wants nothing more than to tell her. Despite his initial dislike of her growing up (as she had been a sickly child by nature, and as such was doted on constantly by his older siblings), the two have become close since _the incident_ in high school. She somehow always knows how to appeal to his better side, how to help him recover from strain, how to give him space whenever he needs it. It is because of this welcome bond that they live together, to this day. On top of all that, Corrin does not share quite the same resentment of Hoshido that the rest of his family seems to harbor. But, then, on the other hand, she probably wouldn’t be too thrilled with the idea of Leo having kept this from her for so many years. Plus, her discovery of his crush on Takumi would ultimately lead to interference on her part, without a doubt, and he wants nothing to do with any of her schemes. She always _has_ been good about stirring up trouble. “I can’t do that. I’m sorry.”

“Alright, fair enough.” With a sly smirk growing on her face, Corrin lifts herself slightly from the floor, shifts a bit to the right, and sits squarely on her brother’s stomach; he utters an indignant _oof_ in response and squirms uncomfortably beneath her bottom, but cannot manage to wriggle free. “I’ll just sit here until you tell me. I have all day. Well, no, that’s not true; I _do_ have lunch with Camilla later, but I can drag you with me to that, too, if I have to.”

“ _Corrin…_ ” he hisses threateningly, though knows it will do little good, since she has the upper hand right now anyway. Curse her and her stubborn nature; none of his other siblings were this tenacious. Why couldn’t he have wound up living with _them_ , when everything started going south? Granted, he wouldn’t enjoy living with the others, realistically (Xander is far too taciturn to deal with on a regular basis, and Camilla is far too—well, too _Camilla_ ), but in this moment of crushing weight on his midsection, he isn’t thinking clearly, anyway. Maybe it’s about time he moved out and lived on his own.

Folding her arms across her chest, she peers down at Leo before pinching his nose between her thumb and forefinger. “Is it… Odin?”

“Whgha— _No_.”

“Oh, thank the gods.” Corrin smirks, tapping her chin with her free hand in thought. “Hmm… Jakob?”

“Whghy the _hghell_ wghould it be _Jakohb_?”

“I don’t know. Just guessing.” A mischievous look crosses over her features as she studies his face a moment longer; she releases his nose, but does not budge from her spot on his gut. “Hmm…”

“You’re not going to guess, so _get off of me_.”

Examining his face a moment longer, Corrin scoots off of him at last. As she rises to her feet, she dusts off the front of her pants and crosses her arms again, gazing down upon him with the same, pitying smile she was wearing before. It’s enough to earn her another irritated glare on Leo’s part, but she appears undeterred by the expression. In fact, Leo almost wonders if she doesn’t enjoy his pain at times—even if she isn’t his sister by birth, she truly is a daughter of Nohr. “Hmm. Alright, you win. I’ll back off for now.”

“Good,” Leo grumbles to himself. Beside him, his phone buzzes with an incoming email. He grabs it hurriedly and opens the email app—much to his dismay, it’s merely an email from Xander about work. Damn.

“I just need you to know—” She stretches her arms above her head and plops down on the sofa; an impish grin still resides on her lips as she pulls out her phone and begins texting somebody. All the same, her voice is soft whenever she speaks again, which catches Leo by surprise. “—that you can talk to me about anything. Even stuff that you don’t want Camilla or Xander to know. I might be able to help you.”

“Yeah, okay.” Leo lets his eyes slip shut again.

When he hears Corrin speak again, she sounds almost giddy. “In fact, I can help you right now. Give me just a minute…”

Letting his phone rest beside him again, Leo rolls over onto his stomach and rests his chin against the soft comfort of the pillow. Whatever tricks she has up her sleeve, he wants no part in any of it. Nothing good ever comes from her meddling...

“Here ya go.” Corrin’s voice greets his ears again, and when he opens his eyes to gaze up at her, he discovers that his cell phone is now nestled in her hands. Hastily, he snatches it from her grip and checks the screen to make sure she hasn’t done anything too drastic to screw up his device. Nothing appears to be wrong, at first glance. “A friend of mine gave me this number just now, so I put it into your contacts. He said it could be useful for your relationship issues; I’m guessing it’s an anonymous tip line or something. I’d try calling it later, if you can’t sort this out for yourself. He swears by it, from the sound of it.”

“Did you have to grab my phone without asking?”

“Would you have put the number in if I _hadn’t_?”

His begrudging silence is answer enough to that question, and the decidedly satisfied expression that rests on her face is, in turn, enough to make Leo scowl deeper.

“Go on; I’ll give you whatever privacy you want, since you’re so dead-set on keeping secrets from me. Besides, I promised Camilla I’d meet her soon. Don’t worry; I won’t say anything to her about this.” Rising from the sofa, she grabs her purse and slings it over her shoulder, peering back at her little brother one last time. “... Hey, Leo? Are you okay for me to leave right now?”

“Of course. I’m not a child.”

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it.” She sighs, opening the door a little. “If you need me, just call, okay? I’ll bring you back some of that bruschetta you like so much, if you’d like.”

At that, Leo only nods, digging his fingers into the couch pillow as she leaves at last. It isn’t that he is ungrateful for her doting; he had spent his whole adolescence wishing people would care about him in the same manner as they always did with her. But… Well, he supposes that it makes him feel weak, to some extent. He has grown stronger, more _independent_ because of the attention he was never given; to have it suddenly thrust upon him is almost an unwelcome feeling, and even ten years after moving in with her, he hasn’t been able to adapt.

He feels helpless, both in his anxieties and in her effort to ease said anxieties.

Narrowing his eyes, he unlocks his phone screen and scrolls through his contacts until he spots the one she added.

“Audible Xanax”, it reads. Of all the utterly _stupid_ names she could have given this number in his contacts, she goes with that?  Then again, maybe he’s making a big deal out of nothing—Odin is beginning to rub off on him, it seems. Shaking his head, he curls up a little on the floor and considers his options. He doesn’t particularly _want_ to spill his feelings to anyone—half of the reason he’s never gone to therapy for his issues is because of how utterly stupid he feels talking about that stuff. But, then, if he doesn’t at least give it a try, Corrin will have his head when she returns.

Perhaps he should just humor her and see what happens?

His thumb hovers over the call button, retracts, lingers again. Some impulse in him eventually snaps, however, and he touches the button with his thumb.

The other end rings once.

Rings twice.

Rings thrice.

And as his finger ghosts over the red button to hang up, Leo hears a familiar voice resonate on the other end of the call.

_“Hello?”_

His heart wrings his throat in a vice-grip.

_“Uh, hello?”_

Takumi’s voice repeats itself through the speaker, and it takes everything Leo has not to chuck his phone across the room. Takumi’s voice. _Takumi_. After a week’s time without so much as a word from his ex, the pleasant sound on the other end of the phone all but sends his insides into a fit of joy, at least for a split-second. Lurching upright into a sitting position, he puts the phone on speaker and sets it on the floor in front of him. “Hello, Hoshido." 

He hears a slight rustling from the other side. _“Leo? What are… How did you get my number?”_

Well, Takumi doesn’t sound upset by Leo’s call, so he supposes that’s a good sign. “I got it from… my sister, somehow.” Leo shakes his head, realization dawning on him at last. Corrin knows. He hasn’t the slightest inkling how it’s possible, but she _knows_. The thought is at once relieving and terrifying. On one hand, he can take comfort in confiding in her, should the need ever arise. On the other hand… Well, he can only expect that she will _expect_ him to confide in her, and that idea alone elicits a low groan from the back of his throat. “Yeah, Corrin knows something about us. I’m not sure how, or the extent of what she knows, but... there’s that.”

Much to his surprise, a warm, albeit nervous, chuckle sounds from the other end. _“Guess that makes two of us. For what it’s worth… Kamui knows, too. I had to tell him when I asked him to babysit the other day. He hasn’t let me hear the end of it since.”_

“Great…” Leo returns the laugh, shaking his head with a sigh. From what he had heard back in the day, Corrin and Kamui are fairly similar people, by nature. He can only imagine what Corrin will have in store for him when she gets back.

_“So… did you call for a reason, or…?”_

“That’s…” As he opens his mouth to speak, he chooses his words as carefully as his frantic heart will allow. “... I called because I was uncertain about something. About _us_ , and... where we are right now. Where we wanted to be. I was hoping you would entertain me with your thoughts.”

Seconds pass before Takumi has much of an answer for him. _“... I don’t know.”_ He hears a low sigh over the speaker. _“It’s not like I—I just… Leo, I_ have _thought about it. A lot. But we’ve tried this before, and we both know how_ that _turned out.”_

“I’m aware.” In fact, given his current situation, it will be a miracle if he ever forgets. “But it’s been ten years. We’ve changed—”

 _“Have we, though? That’s what I’m afraid of.”_ The strain in Takumi’s voice comes through in his phone-warbled tone. _“I mean, sure, our situations are different now. But have_ we _changed enough? As people?”_

That catches Leo off-guard. It’s a plenty valid question, but it’s also one he has altogether avoided considering up to this point. Though a decade’s time has passed since they went their separate ways, he still remembers the failure on his part to hold on to their fraying relationship. While Takumi had, from his perspective, merely been caught between adolescent and adult obligations, Leo had been pushed to the brink by the stressors of his personal life. At the core of their relationship issues, he was the one at fault for their split in the first place, even if Takumi was the one to cut it off.

 _Have I changed?_  It’s food for thought, certainly. He likes to think that he has, but at the innermost core of his being, who can really say?

But, even so, Takumi has transitioned fully into adulthood at this point, and Leo has far fewer problems on his plate now than he did in high school, so perhaps they could forget those previous flaws in one another? Could they move on?

“I think we both know what went wrong, at least. And I think we can work that. With each other.”

 _“... Hold on a minute. I’m putting you on speaker.”_ A solid minute of near-silence follows before Takumi speaks again, coupled with the sound of clattering silverware. _“So you really want to go through with this? You’re absolutely sure you’re ready for all of the secrecy a second time?”_

“I ma— I am.” Leo winces at his answer. _Gods, I sound moronic. Breathe, Leo. Breathe steady. It’s just Takumi._ “Believe it or not, I’ve missed your company, you _scum_.”

 _“Ten years later, and you still haven’t let that go… You’re such a jerk.”_ Another pause. _“... I guess we’ll have to go on another date for you to convince me.”_

At that, Leo’s throat dries up. “What?”

_“You heard me. I’m a terrible flirt, and you’re embarrassing me in front of my son, so that’s all you’re getting out of me. Take it or leave it.”_

Leo gives a single, nervous laugh, willing the goofy smile on his face to subside; instead, it only grows wider still, and he thanks the gods that Corrin left already. Takumi… actually agreed? And in front of his son, even? That practically seals the deal, then—they’re actually doing this. Again. Wetting his lips as his mouth goes dry, he holds the phone slightly nearer, an unbearable heat blooming in his face. “I’m convinced. When are you free?”

 _“Oh, I don’t know…”_ Takumi’s voice has grown mirthful, and Leo exhales a slow sigh of relief. It sounds as if the other man is as excited about this as he is. _“I’m pretty busy. All the time. Hmm… You free next Saturday?”_

“I can be.”

 _“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but… Alright. I’m in.”_ In the background, a high-pitched laugh sounds over the speaker, and Takumi fades a little from the other end. _“Kiragi, don’t make fun of me! It’s a serious… It’s—”_ A pause. _“He’s never going to let me live this down. I hope you’re happy.”_

A surge of relief rushes over Leo’s body, and he gives a little fist-bump to the air in success. This is really happening. After ten years of a less-than-fulfilling love life, he can hardly believe that he has a legitimate date, and with _Takumi_ again, of all people. It’s almost a little sad, _almost_ , though the thought doesn’t really cross his mind at any point. He’s ecstatic enough simply knowing that his renewed affections are not in vain. “Why did you put it on speaker, anyway? It’s only natural that he would overhear our conversation, if he’s in the same room.”

 _“Well, you did call right at lunchtime, you know. You try making a sandwich with just one hand. Oh. Wait. That’s right—you can’t even make one with_ two _hands!”_

“Hmm. Maybe you’re just not dexterous enough. We could test that theory sometime.”

 _“Leo, I’m on_ speaker _!"_

“What I said was plenty innocent.”

 _“In what way is_ anything _you just said innocent? Kiragi, don’t look at me like that...”_

As Leo drapes himself across the sofa, the two delve into a casual, familiar conversation—teasing each other, bickering over the most minute of subjects, sharing humiliating stories about each of their siblings. It’s nice, he thinks with a serene smile, and his eyelids slide shut in comfort. Pure bliss. Nothing ever compares to an exchange of words, of raw thought and tempered emotion, with one so equal in mentality. He had almost forgotten how much Takumi’s voice could assuage him, coaxing him gently up from the ebbing waves he so often drowns himself in. Even in quarreling, he feels soothed, a sensation akin to Corrin’s fingers in his hair.

Looking back, it’s no wonder it hurt so badly when Takumi left him.

The two are still on the phone by the time Corrin returns from lunch, and if it wasn’t for the coy smile that his sister was sending his way, they may have continued speaking like that for quite some time. As it is, however, he can hear Kiragi getting restless on the other end, and thus decides to end the conversation there. “I’ll talk to you later, Takumi.”

 _“Right, right.”_ A soothing sigh tickles his ears as Leo takes the phone off speaker. _“See you Saturday."_

“Bye, Takumi.”

As soon as the call ends, Corrin plops herself down on his stomach again, much to his chagrin. “Alright, Leo, let’s hear it! Talk to me. Tell me _everything_.”

“There’s nothing to hear.”

“Bullshit, there isn’t. Spill. _Now_. You owe me that much.”

“I owe you nothing of the sor— _ackgh_!”

She pinches his nose again, and the lulled feeling from speaking with Takumi fades again into the recesses of his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For whatever reason, this chapter was very difficult to get through, writing-wise. So I apologize if anything isn't up to par!  
> That said, thank you for the feedback thus far! If you liked this, please leave kudos or comment before you go! Thanks again!  
> Update (4/22/16) -- I'm about halfway through the next chapter; sorry it's taking so long! Hopefully the next chap will be up this week!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long! But you know how it is. College and all that.  
> ** Brief physical (non-sexual) child abuse is mentioned in this chapter, so if that’s something that could trigger you, read at your own risk!

They were moving too fast.

Somewhere in the finest recesses of Leo’s subconscious, he was fully aware of this fact. While his experience in relationships was limited—for all intents and purposes, he had none whatsoever—he had read enough on the subject to know that, considering their respective situations, this was further than they probably should have gone in the five months or so since they started dating.

All the same, he couldn’t deny that the tickly feeling of Takumi’s tongue in his mouth was turning his mind into a mound of gelatinous goop, so he pushed those thoughts aside for the time being and focused instead on the task at hand.

“Ah—Leo,” Takumi began, backing away from the other’s lips for a moment; his brows knitted in disgust at the cool string of mixed saliva that followed him on the way back. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before speaking again. “Someone’s bound to see us up here. I really don’t think—”

“Has anyone seen us up here yet?” With a slight breathlessness in his voice, Leo motioned to the empty rooftop surrounding them. “What makes you think they’ll see us now?”

At that, Takumi’s eyes narrowed. “You of all people should— _mmfph_!”

Leo cut him off with another wet kiss, rolling his eyes at Takumi’s stubbornness. If anyone could kill a mood, it was a Hoshido. Raising a hand, he lightly held Takumi’s chin and tipped the boy’s head, giving him better access to the recesses of his mouth; his fingers gently coaxed the other’s lips open, and they were lost to the world for another few, breathless moments. They’d done this a few times, at this point, making an effort to test the waters before eating, for both of their sakes. Leo couldn’t deny that they were both sloppy and had virtually no idea what they were doing (short of what they had each read online, of course), but the more frequent these sessions became, the more they learned what really made the other _tick_. As far as Leo could tell, Takumi quite enjoyed the feeling of hands and lips at his jawline, while Leo had discovered a thing or two about his own preferences. The little self-discoveries that they had unearthed in each other were fascinating to him, and he made a point to make the most of them whenever he could. The way Takumi’s body curled a little with each motion, the way those tiny sighs spilled from his throat into Leo’s mouth, the tension in his brow that smoothed to contentment more and more by the second… Takumi’s every flinch drove him absolutely _mad_.

A low growl of annoyance rumbled from Takumi’s heaving chest, and he lightly shoved Leo away again. The subtle rise and fall of his torso as he struggled to catch his breath was enough to make Leo’s stomach flip. There was no denying it—if they weren’t on a time crunch and had _any idea_ what they were doing, he would want nothing more than to pin the other to the ground and make him come undone. Writhing, wailing, _begging_ — _shit_ , no, stop. He still had to go to class after this. He mustn’t think of such things, if only for the fact that Niles would notice immediately if he walked in with even the _slightest_ hard-on. His best friend would never let him live it down.

When the haze at the front of his mind cleared, Leo found himself sitting in front of a dumbfounded Takumi. His companion looked uneasy about something, there was no doubt about it; his gaze followed Takumi’s line of sight down to his arms, which had been exposed earlier when Takumi pulled his jacket off.

“Leo, your…”

Oh.

Realization dawning, Leo tugged his sleeves down and avoided boyfriend’s prying brown eyes. “It’s nothing.”

“Nothing? Leo, that’s—” Takumi’s arm reached across suddenly to yank the sleeve up again, exposing the dappled mauve skin of his forearm. Imprints of fingers and other misshapen blemishes marred his flesh at the wrist. “Like hell is _this_ nothing!”

Scowling deeper, Leo retracted his arm and pulled the sleeve down again. “Don’t touch me.”

“What? Leo, this is _serious_.”

“Drop it, Takumi!” It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate the sentiment; knowing that Takumi cared so much was near enough to make his heart melt. But that didn’t change the fact that he wanted to keep his personal life as far from his school life as humanly possible. He didn’t mean to snap, and the pained look on the other’s face is evidence enough that he raised his voice more than he should have. “... I just want to forget about it.”

“I’m… sorry.” Scooting nearer, Takumi leaned against Leo’s side and threw his free arm across the other boy’s middle. He buried his face in Leo’s shoulder and exhaled, relishing the serene solace that the rooftop offered them. Perhaps the knowledge that school was his boyfriend’s only real escape from home finally registered in Takumi’s mind. Whatever the case, Leo found himself appreciating the extra affection as Takumi spoke again. “Well… If you ever need it, I’m all ears. If it ever gets bad enough that you need to leave, you’re welcome at the Hoshido estate. I’m sure if you explained the circumstances, with a little begging thrown in, my family would be merciful and let you stay.”

“ _That’s_ a laugh…” Leo mumbled, though a grateful smile bloomed on his lips at Takumi’s thoughtfulness. Had anyone told him a year ago that he’d be snuggling up to a Hoshido and pouring his heart out, as if they had been close for a lifetime, he’d have thought them crazy. “Can you imagine it? Me, at your family’s mercy?”

That earned him a throaty chuckle from his upperclassman, whose face lifted from his shoulder to peck him fondly on the tip of the nose. “Hmm. Sakura probably wouldn’t mind, and I don’t think Kamui would either. They’re both pretty lax.”

“I wasn’t talking about _them_.”

“Ryoma and Hinoka? They talk big and all, but if you showed up and completely surrendered yourself to them, they’d probably help you out _some_.”

“Surrender? You make it sound as if this is a war.”

“Isn’t it?” Takumi chuckled again and let himself sink more completely against Leo’s side. His eyelids slid shut as a wave of relaxation flowed along his nerves. “I know it’s just a company rivalry, but our families have despised each other for a few generations, now. It might as well be a full-on feud—I’m sure we could arrange for your butler to go head-to-head with my bodyguard.”

At that, Leo found himself snickering into another brief kiss, more chaste than those from their previous session. He could sit there for hours, just like that. “Mm. Jakob and Hinata?”

“Jakob and Hinata,” Takumi echoed in affirmation. “... Honestly, I feel like that would end in a draw for them both. I mean, I don’t know anything about Jakob, but Hinata...”

“No, you’re right.” With a small, contented smile, Leo nodded his head in agreement. “Still, it’s a comforting thought—knowing that _your_ family might be open to that, if I ever lost my every shred of pride. I cannot say the same for mine.“

His words dragged Takumi’s hand gingerly back down to the concealed arm, and it took Leo’s everything to keep from flinching away as Takumi took his hand. While he appreciated his boyfriend’s concern for his wellbeing, he didn’t want to make a big fuss out of it. He knew that reporting his father would be the most rational thing to do, and he had no doubts in his mind that Takumi would do so in a heartbeat if he asked, but Leo refused. His father was far too well-known for any real consequences to arise, and even if they did, he had no intention of being in the spotlight as some poster child for abuse. Besides—loathe as he was to admit it, for whatever twisted logic his brain chose to defy, he harbored a closeted, broken love for his father. He hated him, there was no denying it, but nevertheless, he couldn’t imagine a life spent knowing that he was the one responsible for putting his father in prison. It horrified him to no end.

Even so, why did he have to antagonize his father last night? Why couldn’t he have just kept his mouth shut? Why had his father become so _ruthless_ in the past ten-or-so years? Why had he watched his mother walk right out without him in tow, all those years ago, thinking so _stupidly_ that she would return for him? Was it his fault that she had left—that his father had grown so cynical and cruel?

His rampant thoughts were cut off by the feeling of a box against his arm. “Earth to Leo. I had Sakura take time make this for you, so you’d better eat it before the bell rings.”

Between the sound of his companion’s voice and the gentle fingers rubbing circles over his hand, Leo drifted back into reality, grounded again. His breathing evened out, his muscles loosened… When he peered down at the box again, it occurred to him that Takumi was referring to a bento. Sakura made him a bento. He was on the roof, safe with Takumi, eating lunch, not at home, not with his father, not with—

“Don’t worry; I told her it was for Oboro.” Takumi chuckled beside him. “I think my family’s convinced I’m dating _her_ , not you, at this point. They can tell something is up, but I don’t think they suspect anything about us, specifically.”

“... Thanks.” Leo glanced away, avoiding his gaze out of shame. He couldn’t believe he came so close to breaking down in front of Takumi like that. “This secrecy is…”

“Rough? Yeah, I know.” Shaking his head, Takumi removed the lid of his own box and picked up the chopsticks nestled on the side. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think about just _ending it_ , sometimes… Not that I’m not _really_ into you. I am. I just hate sneaking off like this. I miss eating lunch with Oboro, you know? Even if they already know, I don’t want to run any risk of _anyone_ outside of the school finding out. But, then again, I’d pay good money to see how Niles and Oboro would tolerate each other, sitting together at lunch.”

Leo shook his head at that. “I’d pity them both.” Still, something Takumi said didn’t settle quite right with him. Takumi had considered breaking it off? He supposed that had no immediate implications, but even so… Leo didn’t exactly feel reassured by that idea. Takumi could insist all he wanted that he loved Leo, but if the concept of being with him was too risky in the other’s eyes at any point in their relationship, was there any chance that Takumi would drop him on that aspect, alone? He would like to think that this would never be the case, but was there any way of truly knowing? “Takumi. I know I’m cold and don’t say it often, but… I love you. Really.”

“... Yeah. Love you, too.”

Perhaps his natural rival could tell that Leo wasn’t wholly convinced, for the look that crossed Takumi’s face was one Leo hadn’t seen before. He couldn’t quite discern what it meant. “Leo, listen. It’s not that I don’t love you. You’ve grown on me _so much_ over the past few months, but… I just keep thinking about the future, you know? What happens when I graduate, and you’re still here for a couple of years? I don’t even know if I’ll stay here with the family. I mean, I could go off to college, or join the military, or—” A sigh. “Point being, I don’t want us to get too attached if we have to break it off, y’know?”

Ah, so that was it. Takumi was simply worried about their future together. Well, that wasn’t anything that Leo hadn’t already considered, and besides—if they kept going at the same pace they were now, they’d probably be close enough by Takumi’s graduation that they could at least keep in touch. After all, what else were cell phones for? “We can tackle that when we get there.”

“... Right.”

 _He still doesn’t sound convinced…_ Leo thought with a frown, poking absently at the thin slice of meat filling a corner of the bento. He couldn’t help but wonder if there was more to it than just “ _I’m graduating soon_ ”, but Leo cannot quite discern what that could be. After all, it wasn’t as if Takumi had to worry about parental abuse if his family found out; Leo, on the other hand, couldn’t even _fathom_ how poorly his father would react if the secret was revealed. Hell, Xander would probably be flabbergasted, and while he wasn’t _near_ the violent behemoth that their father was, his half-brother could be incredibly intimidating when he wanted to be.  “Takumi?”

His upperclassman raised his head a little, finally looking at him straight-on. “Hm?”

Swallowing, Leo leaned across and kissed him firmly, ignoring the briny taste of seaweed lingering on his mouth. When he relinquished, he didn’t move back; rather, he took note of their closeness and pressed their foreheads together. He still could not meet Takumi’s stare as it remained so intently fixated on his own. “Prove to me that you mean it.”

“What?”

“You heard me,” Leo began, nervously folding his hands in his lap. “I’m not convinced. Prove it to me.”

“ _Ungh_ , you’re _really_ unbearable sometimes…”

“Yeah, _that’s_ gonna do it.”

“Let me finish…” Takumi grumbled, bringing a hand up to grab the nape of Leo’s neck and usher him closer. “I think I have an idea of what you’re asking me. But that’s definitely illegal.”

Blinking in confusion, Leo raised an eyebrow. “What are _you_ implying?”

“You’re not usually this dense,” he murmured with a low snigger. “Unless you’re trying to mess with my head.”

“I don’t follow, Takumi.”

“You’re just trying to make me say it!”

“... Maybe.”

Takumi groaned at that, prompting Leo to laugh lightly and set his bento aside. “Fine. You’re suggesting that—gods, am I _really_ saying this?—you want to get more… y’know…” He motioned his hands around them for a moment.  “... _Intimate_.”

A moment of silence passed between them, and Leo finally garnered enough willpower to look Takumi in the eyes. Well… Takumi _did_ say it, and the way in which he said it was enough to draw forth a loud, genuine laugh from the son of Nohr. Leo’s forehead dropped down to Takumi’s shoulder as he bit back another fit of laughter.

“W-What so funny?” Takumi stammered, cheeks flaring up. “Don’t mock me.”

Leo’s laughter settled enough for him to speak. “Just… I think _‘intimate’_ is the most _Takumi_ way you could have answered that.”

“And what’s _that_ supposed to mean?”

“I don’t mean anything by it.” Truth be told, he found it kind of charming, though he would never say it aloud. “But… You’re not wrong.”

“I’m also serious, about what I said before.” Takumi crossed his arms. “We’re not doing anything like _that_ here. Because public sex is illegal.”

“So that’s the _only_ reason?”

“Oh, shove it. I’m not honoring that with an answer. But…” Swallowing, Takumi took another bite of the rice ball in his bento. “... I do have an idea. It’s… It’s not that _exactly_ , and it might not be as nice, but nobody would find out if we do it right.”

That got Leo’s attention. “Hm?”

“You don’t share a room with any of your siblings, do you?”

“No…?”

Slowly, Takumi nodded his head. “Good. In that case… call my cell Friday night. A-And read up on… you know.”

“ _‘Intimacy’_?”

“Keep _that_ up, and it’s not gonna happen at all.”

The promise of whatever Takumi had planned for later in the week filled his gut with anticipation and an eagerness unlike any other he had felt before. But despite these physical effects on his mental state, Leo could not wholly shake the uneasiness that he felt mere moments ago. Takumi acted as if he genuinely loved him, and at times he sounded just the same—yet, there were select moments of hesitation on the older boy’s part that left him feeling hollow inside. His love felt both genuine and contrived, somehow. The only two conclusions Leo could draw were that Takumi either adored him and was too fearful to be true to his heart, or disliked the relationship altogether, but stayed on for want of being loved by another.

The lunch bell resonated faintly from the inside of the building below, but by the time Leo returned to class, he found himself too preoccupied with other thoughts to focus.

These thoughts would continue to plague him until Friday evening, long after he had gone to bed, and long after his father had left for his weekend business trip.

~x~x~x~x~x~x~

Today is the day, and Leo couldn’t feel more apprehensive.

Slowly exhaling, he pulls the car into an empty spot and turns the key. He unbuckles his seatbelt, then, but makes no further motion to get out—not yet. The gravity of the impending situation hangs heavy across his shoulders as he slumps a little in his seat. Leo and Takumi have been seeing each other for a few months now; all things considered, it has been a fairly slow-moving relationship, given how busy both of their schedules have been, but nevertheless there exists a closeness that neither can deny at this point. It’s been… _really_ nice, he’ll admit, and finally having a sibling to confide in about it all has been strangely comforting. He’s never been one for spilling his emotions to others, but having Corrin around to listen to his few lovesick rambles has been nice. Perhaps that would have helped keep them together, all those years ago—having some way to let out all of their mushy feelings to someone so close when the other wasn’t in their company. Niles and Oboro simply hadn’t cut it.

Swallowing down the last of his anxieties, Leo shoves his keys into his pocket and opens the door, stepping out of the car and peering around. Towering oak trees encircle the parking lot in an erratic ring, branches entangled in an endless knot of leaves and twigs. Above his head, the sun leers warmly at the earth below, setting his skin ablaze with heat. It’s a bit _hot_ for this sort of outing—frankly, he’s always been more of a cold-weather person—but he supposes he can only do so much at this point.

As long as he doesn’t wind up with a sunburn, with how pale he is.

“Leo! Over here!”

The familiar voice of his former rival resonates in his ears, and as Leo gazes a few meters behind him, his eyes fixate keenly, _uncertainly_ , on the child at the other’s hip.

If the picture Takumi had shown him on their first reunion date was accurate, that must be Kiragi.

He looks even more like Takumi in person, at least in the manner in which he carries himself; it’s enough to make Leo chuckle nervously under his breath as they approach. Despite the blond hair and spattering of freckles, the kid does resemble his father quite a bit, especially with the little bow slung over his shoulder. It doesn’t help that they’re wearing the same bright shade of orange, presumably to ensure that neither of them shoot each other on accident during this outing. In hindsight, Leo probably should have worn something other than black, but he has little intention of doing much shooting anyway, so it’s probably alright.

Kiragi blinks cautiously up at him, as if deciding whether Leo fits his personal image of what he expects out of his father’s boyfriend. Though it makes him uncomfortable, Leo can’t blame the child; he imagines it must be tough, dealing with one’s father dating someone entirely unfamiliar when, in prior circumstances, this hasn’t happened before. But, then, that’s the entire purpose of this outing, so hopefully Kiragi can tolerate him enough. Besides, if he and Kiragi are as similar as Takumi once implied, perhaps they aren’t a completely lost cause.

“Ready to go?” Takumi inquires, halting his current train of thought. Unslinging a bow from his shoulder, Takumi extends it outward towards Leo. “Use this one. It’s easier to handle.”

Eyeing the bow for a moment, Leo grabs it and tests the weight in his hand. It’s heavier than he anticipated, and one of his brows lifts uncertainly. “I’ll take it, but know that I have no idea what I’m doing.”

“Wow, Nohr. You really are hopeless.” Despite his teasing, Takumi’s tone is warm, and his affections are only further emphasized by the way he reaches up to ruffle Leo’s hair. “If Kiragi can shoot an arrow, I’m sure you can, too.”

“Huh?” Kiragi folds his arms rather comically over his chest and pouts up at his father. “You told me I’m a good shot.”

Takumi chuckles at that and sets his hand atop the boy’s head. “You’re a _great_ shot. I’m just boosting Leo’s confidence, that’s all. Trust me; from the sound of it, he’ll need it.”

That’s enough to earn him a toothy grin from his son, and it takes all Leo has to suppress the amused smile tugging at the corners of his lips; the kid is missing two teeth, for one thing (one on the top, one on the bottom), and the way that he and Takumi click so well… Honestly, it’s difficult for him _not_ to smile, beside himself. It’s a funny comfort, knowing that this sunshine child won’t have to endure a childhood like his own—knowing that, in turn, Takumi cares so _deeply_ for his son that nothing of the sort could possibly develop. It is, at once, a rush of complacency and an ebbing sadness, and Leo’s voice grows lighter as a result. “... Lead the way.”

“Right,” Takumi says with a nod, though studies Leo’s face a bit more before walking onward. “Better start with target practice. Especially since you’re wearing dark colors—speaking of which, would it kill you to wear some color sometime? Or even _white_? Seriously, is that, like, a Nohr thing?”

Leo makes a face. “Dark colors are more professional. And Elise and Camilla dabble in fashion, sometimes.”

“ _Dark_ fashion?”

“At least _my_ siblings don’t dress like _lobsters_.”

Takumi’s ears go red at that. “That was one time, and you know it.”

“How am I supposed to know what goes on at your estate? I don’t even keep up with your family on the news anymore, if I can avoid it.”

“Oh, shove it.” To further his point, he lightly jabs Leo in the side with his elbow. “Anyway, the target range is just up here. Kiragi, don’t shoot anything until I get you set up, got it?”

“Roger!” Giving a little salute, Kiragi hurries up to the standing area to claim his spot.

Tightening his grip on the bow, Leo peers back at Takumi as a moment of repose settles between them. These few months, though taxing and a bit awkward at times, have been his saving grace. It’s bad enough that Xander keeps trying to rope him back into the family business, but Corrin has been pestering him about something similar lately as well. And then there’s the whole secrecy bit… the further their relationship evolves, the more he wishes he could just walk up to the family estate, tell Xander and the others to “suck it”, and make out with Takumi on their doorstep. He knows this is utterly _ridiculous_ , and he would never actually do something so extreme, but he can’t help but wish things were so simple. “... So how do I go about this?”

“Well, for starters…” Takumi’s bottom lip slides under his teeth as he bites back a snigger; Leo finds himself torn between wanting to slap it off and wanting to mute him with his own lips. “You’re holding the bow in the wrong hand. You’re right-handed, right?”

At that, Leo nods slowly, glancing away abashedly as a warmth prickles beneath his cheeks. It’s not his fault that he has no idea what he’s doing; they couldn’t exactly do stuff like this, back in high school, and nobody in his family had ever been keen on archery. “Just… Show me what to do.”

“I’ll teach you like I taught Kiragi.” Takumi casts his son a wide grin as the boy loads up his bow. “He caught on quick, so... maybe it’ll work for you, too?”

“Are you suggesting that I need archery ‘ _dumbed down_ ’?”  One of Leo’s groomed brows lifts inquiringly.

“Are _you_ suggesting that I ‘ _dumbed it down_ ’ for Kiragi?” Returning the questioning look, Takumi strides over to stand in front of Leo, folding his arms across his chest. “I’ll have you know my son is naturally talented enough to handle a bow. S’more than I can say for you, _Nohr_.”

“Well, I could shoot _you_ from this distance.” Leo clicks his tongue. “That has to count for something.”

“Ha-ha, very funny. Just ready your bow and I’ll help you from there, _Leo-las_.”

“' _Leo-las'_? Really?”

“Really. You’re getting saddled with that until you can hit that target, right over there.” Takumi’s arm extends out toward the expanse of grass out ahead of them. “If Kiragi can do it, you can do it.”

 _Nevermind the fact that Legolas was a pro at archery._ Shaking his head at Takumi’s logic, Leo gets into a pose that he believes to be semi-accurate; more likely than not, however, he is dearly mistaken, as Takumi steps behind him to adjust his form. The older man uses his hands to adjust various portions of his posture—easing his shoulders, moving his leg over, and lifting his elbow. “Whatever. Just know that this makes you Gimli.”

Takumi pauses in his motions. “Gimli? Legolas and Gimli were never an item.”

“That depends on who you ask.”

“Gods, you’re so… _ridiculous_.” With a tiny, defeated chuckle, Takumi leans forward and presses a gentle kiss to the back of Leo’s neck before continuing in his assistance. “Anyway, put on an arm guard if you don’t want your forearm skinned to the bone. Then we’ll begin.”

And thus they continued for a number of hours. Takumi spent far more time assisting Kiragi and Leo (especially Leo) than actually shooting for himself, but he claims that he hardly minds. While Leo doesn’t particularly savor the act of shooting an arrow, he can’t deny that he enjoyed himself marginally this afternoon. More than anything, however, he thinks he most relished in watching Takumi and Kiragi bond over their shared love of the sport. Ten years ago, he hardly would have thought of Takumi as father material, but it’s clear now that his former rival has grown to become a fine parent. The more he considers it, the more he wonders what a domestic life with Takumi would be like, but he banishes the thought almost as soon as it surfaces. He can’t think like that—after all, he’ll never make a suitable father, himself. Not after everything he went through as a child with his own sire. Perhaps that’s a topic he should bring up soon, if things become more serious and long-term between them.

As the sun dips to kiss the earth, the archery field is reborn in vibrant oranges and placid pinks; shadows stretch along the ground with ever-expanding indigo fingers. The gentlest breeze rushes in and blankets the parking lot in a cool, comforting embrace, prompting Kiragi to step nearer his father for warmth as they lean against the hood of Leo’s car. Takumi laughs gently and lays an arm over his son, gazing back at Leo with a humored glint in his eyes. “Not bad for your first try, but you’re far from the archer Kiragi is.”

“Stop comparing me to him,” Leo states, gazing across at Kiragi and chancing a small smirk. “He was born a Hoshido. It’s only natural that he would have your archery skills.”

At that, Kiragi grins again, and Leo finds himself laughing fully at his teeth gaps. It’s nothing short of _relieving_ to know that Kiragi doesn’t hold any sort of grudge against him; all too often, he has heard stories about children who respond _very_ poorly to their parent’s new significant other. Perhaps it’s because Kiragi’s mother has been gone for so long, or because he and Kiragi have hit it off so well. Whatever the reason, he finds himself beyond grateful. The child giggles, then, and leaves his father’s side to shoot another quick round of arrows before they leave.

Perhaps in a similar vein of thought, Takumi steps slightly nearer Leo. His eyes settle warmly on his companion’s, and he leans up to place a fond kiss on his lips. “I know I never really say it, but… Thanks. I finally feel like this was the right thing to do.”

“Archery?”

“No, you dunce. _This_.”  He gestures between the three of them with a small, serene smile. “And us. I still have my hesitations, don’t get me wrong, but… It’s almost a little _unsettling_ how well this has gone so far. I still half-expect something to take a turn for the worst.”

At that, Leo averts his gaze again, instead focusing on the gravel beneath his boots. To be completely fair, the thought has crossed his mind more than once in these months spent together. While he had initially expected their relationship to go fairly well, the fact that it’s gone off without so much as a hiccup has concerned him, as well. In fact. It’s been strikingly similar to their first relationship. Nevertheless, the point remains that they may both have matured enough to better handle each others’ misgivings. Thusly, he shakes his head at the thought and places his hand atop Takumi’s. “You’re overthinking it.”

“Hah! That’s rich, coming from you…” Takumi sighs. “Look, Leo, I’m serious. You’re telling me that you haven’t _worried_ about any of this? Our first year went pretty smoothly, too, you know. I mean, if things keep going this well, and we start getting serious…” A swallow. “I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

Leo’s jaw clenches a little at that, and he releases Takumi’s hand. Where is this coming from? “Is all of this secrecy even necessary? Both of our parents aren’t… _around_ anymore. Not to mention, we’re both grown men. Who’s to stop me from knocking on Ryoma’s door and kissing you, right then and there?”

“Be serious, will you?” The hurt in Takumi’s voice causes a hitch in Leo’s throat. “I mean… You _are_ being serious, but…”

With fists forming at his sides, Leo carefully mulls over his options in his head. It was a conversation like this that birthed some of the tension between them, those ten years ago. He will need to be careful with the direction this conversation goes, especially with Kiragi not far off. When he speaks, he does so carefully, slowly, as if mere vocalizations could shatter the glass affection that holds them together. “... Why are you so ashamed of me?”

The troubled look that Takumi casts his way nearly breaks his heart, but he does his best to keep his expression subdued. A few moments of silence flit between them on fragile wings as Takumi struggles to find the words that best portray his thoughts. Leo can almost see the gears turning in his head; perhaps he would find it cute, if it weren’t for the circumstances under which it is happening. When at last he speaks, Takumi‘s voice is hushed, though whether this is out of a personal guilt or an effort to exclude Kiragi, Leo cannot tell. “… I’m not ashamed of you.”

Leo’s frown only deepens. He knows it shouldn’t bother him, but Takumi sounds almost like he’s convincing _himself_ more than Leo of that fact. “Then what is it? Who cares what the others think, at this point?”

“It’s not…” Voice faltering, Takumi folds his arms across his chest and looks away, unable to look Leo in the eyes. “... Nevermind. The sun is setting; we should get going. Come on, Kiragi.”

“Takumi,” Leo begins, steadying his voice to the best of his ability. “... Come over to my place next weekend.”

He pauses and glances uncertainly at the son of Nohr. “What?”  


“Come to my place, if you’re free Saturday. Corrin will be out of town, and… I’ll make us dinner.” They need to talk this out, of that there is no doubt. Getting Takumi to agree, however, especially given how this evening has gone, is another matter entirely. “... Please, Takumi.”

Takumi hesitates, biting his lower lip in thought. He only speaks again when Kiragi tugs at his sleeve, clearly exhausted and ready to head home. “I’ll call you later this week about it. Gotta see if Kamui will agree to watching Kiragi again.”

“Right… See you then?”

Chancing the slightest of apologetic smiles, Takumi lifts his hand in a wave. “See you then. I love you, Leo.”

“... Yeah. Love you, too.”

And as Leo slides back into his car, he sinks down into the driver’s seat with a groan.

Takumi is keeping secrets from him, just like before.

He doesn’t think Takumi is cheating, or anything like that—he doesn’t take Takumi to be the type to do so, for one thing, and having introduced Leo to Kiragi now, it seems even less plausible—but he can tell by the way Takumi presented himself earlier that something is _off_. The way he bit his lip, refused to look at him, wouldn’t answer his questions directly… It seems plenty evident to him that something was eating away at Takumi today. If history truly is destined to repeat itself, then damned be his soul for believing anything different could exist between the two of them.

Hopefully Saturday will bring better things.

Hopefully Saturday will bring answers.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HERE IT IS. A few things before we begin:
> 
> 1) This chapter has heavy sexual themes. As in, they actually _do the do_. Thus, if that's not your thing, you may wanna skim this one. I also ramped the rating up to Explicit.  
>  2) It's my first time writing explicit sex, and I'm asexual, so... I tried. |D I probably spent as much time researching as I did actually writing it, so if anything makes no sense or seems overly objective, then I apologize.  
> 3) Shout-out to tumblr user [Bertholt](https://bertholt.tumblr.com/) for spamming Lenny faces all over the draft when she beta read for me.  
> 4) Lastly, this chapter is nearly twice as long as the others. I plan on making each longer from here on out, so... Huzzah!
> 
> Now, onto the fic!

Veiled by the covert silence of night, Leo stifled back the shock of his own orgasm, clenching a tissue in a vice-grip.

_“Wait, did you just…?”_

Takumi’s voice rang out against his ear, subdued by the low volume of Leo’s phone. Panting heavily into the receiver, Leo nodded his head; it was only moments later that he realized that he was an utter _dumbass_ , and that Takumi could not see him nod. Clutching the phone in his clean hand, he lowered his voice to an exhilarated whisper. “I-I did…”

 _“Oh… heh…”_  A strained chuckle resounded from his boyfriend’s voice, and as a weariness spread along his muscles, Leo found himself taking comfort in the mere sound of Takumi’s familiar tone in his ear. His spine tingled with the sound as he rose from his bed. _“Hey, Leo... help me finish.”_

“Just... give me a minute,” he replied with a shiver, dropping the sullied tissue into the wastebasket by the dresser. “Let me clean up. I’ll be right back.”

 _“Ugh,_ fine _. But you’d better hurry up, or I’m doing it without you.”_

Well, Leo would be lying if he said he didn’t find the notion of _that_ extremely hot, too, but this was hardly the time for that. He wouldn’t be _in the mood_ again for a while. Shaking his head, the Nohr son shut his cell phone, sat it on the nightstand, and stretched his limbs lazily above his head. His mind was still reeling from it all—the lust in his boyfriend’s tone, the breathless whispers they exchanged over the receiver… He found himself smiling uncontrollably at the thought. In principle, it was embarrassing as hell, don’t get him wrong—but, in hindsight, it was a far better feeling than he had ever known by touching himself alone. It was special— _intimate,_ as Takumi had put it.

He also couldn’t deny that the secrecy of it all made it even more erotic.

Grunting to himself, he changed into something fresher and stepped idly toward the bedroom door. Given that it was well past midnight, his family should have been in bed at this hour, and it would be wise to avoid waking any of them. He turned the handle carefully, peering down the hall for a moment to make sure he was alone. Drawing in a quick breath, Leo scampered into the conjoined bathroom and shut the door hurriedly behind him.

As he groped blindly for the light switch, he heard a faint creak from the other side of the wall, and his brows screwed up in confusion. Why would any of his siblings be up at this time of the night? Unless they’d been in a similar situation as he was (an idea that he _really_ did not wish to give much thought), then why would they be awake?

Flipping on the bathroom light, Leo quickly ran his hands beneath the water and washed them clean; he hurriedly dried them on the hand towel as the _thud_ of hasty footsteps sounded from a distance. Whoever it was, they were sure in a hurry. All in all, he couldn’t fathom what would necessitate such—

A faint swear resonated from beyond, and Leo’s eyes widened even further.

_Corrin?_

With shaking fingers, he flicked the lightswitch back down and threw the door open, forgetting entirely that the rest of the estate was fast asleep. Glancing frenetically around, he hobbled out of his bedroom and down the corridor, cursing himself for wearing such long, baggy pants to bed. He wasn’t completely certain why he felt so desperate to find out what she was up to—after all, it was just as likely that Corrin was merely thirsty and grabbing a drink from the kitchen—but he couldn’t banish the thought that, perhaps, he might regret not seeking her out.

When at last he happened upon her, his initial fear was confirmed.

“Corrin!” he hissed, keeping his voice as quiet as possible, despite his growing anxiety. His sister’s eyes met his, barely perceptible in the dark interior of the Nohr estate. From what he could make out, she stood by the main doors of the manor; a large bag, or something of the sort, was tucked beneath her left arm. She was fully dressed as well, even down to the pair of sandals pulled snugly around her feet.

Leo’s mind drifted back to his wretched mother’s departure—eerily similar to this moment of stunned silence—and his jaw fell slack in disbelief.

“You’re leaving…” he muttered, voice hardly above a whisper. He watched her hand fall from the handle for a moment—watched her set her bag down upon the floor. “Corrin...”

The faintest sob lingered in the air between them, and in an instant, her arms were enclosed tightly, _tenderly_ around his shoulders—he was starting to surpass her in height, and he would never adjust to the notion. A few seconds passed before Leo fully registered what was going on, and his arms raised reluctantly to return the embrace.

“I can’t take it anymore, Leo…” Corrin’s voice was hushed, weary, tingly against his ear. A wetness slid across his cheek as she held him close— _she’s been crying_ , he noted with a frown. “I can’t take it. Father’s gone _mad_. I… I need to get out of here.”

Leo’s lips parted to speak, but no words dared come forth. How was he supposed to respond to that? Corrin, his bothersome, _beloved_ older sister, was abandoning the family and the company for her own selfish gain. What did she expect him to say? Not that he necessarily blamed her for wanting to leave—she was a legal adult now, and frankly, Leo had considered running away any number of times. But nevertheless, Nohr children stuck together and helped each other get through it all. Their blood ran thicker than anything—how could she simply leave them all behind to suffer while she went out into the world? How could she leave little Elise—leave _him_? After everything they had done for her, in easing her illness for so many years, for all of the attention that she was always given, all of the _adoration_ —

“Are you ungrateful?” Leo inquired, gnashing his teeth together as he bit back the tears beginning to gather in his eyes.

He felt her body tense against his. “Never.”

“Then… _Why_?”

“I have plans,” she stated, finally releasing her hold on him. Instead, she took his shoulders in her hands, keeping him at arm’s length. “I can’t tell you or anyone else about them yet, but if I’m going to have _any_ future, I need to do this.” Cupping his cheek in her palm, Corrin pressed an apologetic kiss to his forehead. “Brother, come with me. We can live together—I’m sure there’s a way I could become your legal guardian, if we—”

“No, sister.” It wasn’t that he wouldn’t love to get away from it all—to go the rest of his life without being yelled at for petty mistakes, or being thrown against the wall for a mild disagreement. But to leave behind everything he had ever known—to leave behind _Elise_ to deal with their father? He couldn’t do it. He held a loyalty to his family that would not be shaken. As much as everyone probably _hoped_ he could be, he was not Corrin; he refused to betray his siblings so flippantly. And besides, what would happen if Corrin failed to gain guardianship over him? The very thought of his father’s impending fury made his skin crawl. Shrugging away from her grasp, he crossed his arms over his chest and took a step back. “ _I_ have a duty to my family.”

“Leo, please—”

“Shut up,” he muttered, tightening his arms against his torso as his heart rebounded into his throat. He felt sick. “You’re pathetic. Just get out of here.”

“... Very well.” Hardening her tone, Corrin turned from him and hastened towards the door. “Goodbye, Leo.”

Forcing his head higher, Leo turned as well and wordlessly trudged back down the hall. He needn’t bother with her any longer—he wouldn’t give her away to the others, but he could do nothing to stop her. At this point, he didn’t _want_ to stop her. If she wanted to run away and ruin her life on her own, who was he to keep her from that? Sure enough, as he reached his bedroom doorway, he heard the front door click shut and lock.

Just like that, Corrin was gone.

As his own door swung shut, Leo leaned back against the painted wood, finally in a private enough space to let loose his inner demons. Cupping a hand to his mouth, he began to quiver, sliding to the floor with a silenced sob. His father would flay him alive if he heard him crying like a _child_ from the other room, but despite his best efforts, he could not suppress the rare surge of hysteria swelling up in his chest. He folded into himself, pulling his knees to his forehead as the cold fingers of fear squeezed the air from his lungs. Limbs quaking, tears rolling, thoughts ricocheting off every crevice of his mind. It hurt, it _hurt_ , he wanted it to stop and leave him be, but such desires only worsened the racing nature of his heart.

His mother despised him. His sister left him. His father sought to control him. Half of the time, he wondered if Xander and Camilla even cared much for him. He still had Elise, but what would happen when she grew older? Would she grow to despise him as much as the others? Did the others even hate him, or was it merely his thoughts getting the better of him? He knew he shouldn’t care. He knew it did him _no good_ to care, and perhaps, at the end of the day, he _didn’t_. But that didn’t make his lungs feel any less constricted, didn’t ease the rampant thoughts swarming in his head. He was alone.

As silently as he could manage, Leo talked himself through his panic attack, crawling over to his bed and curling into its pillowy embrace. He was _Leo_ , proud second son of Nohr. He was safe, locked in his bedroom. His father wasn’t coming to scold him. His siblings _did_ love him. No, no, _yes_ , they _did_. Xander and Camilla and—and even Corrin. Elise, too. Takumi loved him. Niles, too, in his own unique way. He loved himself. He was proud, damn it! Proud to be a Nohr. _Proud_ to be Leo. This was just a panic attack—it was nothing he hadn’t felt before, and nothing he couldn’t get through. He was _not_ about to let it get the better of him, and to hell with him if it did.

He would spend the remainder of the night distracting himself with a book, forgetting entirely about his promise to call Takumi back until the next morning.

And as he set his novel down, he heard a distant yell from down the hall, and knew the remainder of the weekend was best spent locked in his bedroom.

~x~x~x~x~x~x~

“It’s open!”

Stepping sheepishly into the house, Takumi removes his sopping shoes and sets them beside the doorway. The door behind him shuts with a faint _click,_ muffling the incessant pattering of rainwater as it spills from the sky outside. “Funny how every time _you_ make plans, _I’m_ the one who winds up getting soaked.”

“Sounds like luck isn’t on your side,” Leo calls back, peering over his shoulder as he places the lid on top of a simmering pot. Takumi is a little early; nevertheless, he can work with this. His hands reach around his back to untie the plain white apron currently encircling his middle, and he sets it aside with a low hum. Dusting off his hands, he speaks again, raising his voice high enough for Takumi to hear him from the other room. “Must be a Hoshido thing.”

“How did I know you were going to say that?” Rolling his eyes, Takumi reaches upward and wrings out his hair, which has left a trail of droplets behind him with each little sway. Wincing, he idles into the kitchen, eyeing Leo’s back for a moment as his former rival covers the rest of the food and quells the flame.  “Huh. That smells _amazing_. Soup?”

Leo shakes his head, turning to face the other more fully—his skin goes hot soon thereafter, and he redirects his brown eyes to the opposite wall. Takumi really _is_ soaked, and he’d be lying if he said he isn’t enticed by the way those clothes adhere so _perfectly_ to his partner’s body. With widening eyes, Leo shakes those ideas from his head with an inaudible sigh, refocusing his mind on Takumi’s words rather than his physicality. “Stew.”

“Stew…” Takumi repeats, appearing to mull over the word in his mind for a time. Shrugging, he strides across the kitchen to his lover, greeting him more properly with a peck on the lips—his teeth nip once at Leo’s lower lip on the way back. “Well, it’s gotta be better than cup noodles. I _guess_ it’ll do.”

An incredulous look passes over Leo’s face. “Remind me again why a son of _Hoshido_ is eating cup ramen?”

“Because unlike you Nohrs, _my_ family doesn’t believe in excess.” To emphasize his point, Takumi folds his arms across his chest, motioning to the sizeable interior of the house with one hand. “Besides, Kiragi really likes them. Trust me, I’m not a huge fan, either. But, you know… kids.”

Leo only nods at that. “Elise used to be that way with canned ravioli. Thank the gods she grew out of _that_.”

Takumi chuckles, gazing back at the food sitting on the stovetop. “Before we eat… Any chance you have dry clothes I could change into…?”

The thought brings a slight dusting of red to Leo’s face, but he wills it down long enough to nod his head. Damn it all! He’d initially invited Takumi here to discuss his concerns with their lack of communication, not to _prolong_ said lack of communication with his ballistic sex drive. Besides, what Takumi is asking of him is perfectly innocent! _Of course_ Takumi doesn’t want to sit around in sopping clothes. Who would?  “Backmost bedroom—shirts in the closet, pants in the bottom dresser drawer.”

“Got it. I’ll be back out in a minute.” Nodding his head, Takumi spins on his heels and wanders down the hall, out of sight but _certainly_ not out of mind.

An exasperated sigh flits past Leo’s lips. Leave it to his mind to overanalyze the situation, as usual. If Takumi _is_ trying to seduce him, he would have insisted on Leo following him back to the bedroom, right? Or at least been a bit more flirtatious. That’s how all of this _normally_ goes, isn’t it…?  Then again, is there anything remotely _normal_ about his relationship with Takumi?—about Takumi, _period_? Those Hoshido folk are odd, after all, and it’s possible that they believe in much more subtle tactics than those of his own family.

Gnawing at the inside of his cheek, Leo sighs again. Well, if nothing else, he might as well make sure Takumi isn’t going through all of his belongings—not that he has much to hide from Takumi, but there are a few more questionable things that he would rather his boyfriend didn’t learn about him _just_ yet.

He flicks his wrist and turns off the burner. Hopefully the stew doesn’t get cold by the time he gets back. Corrin would kill him for wasting food.

By the time he idles back to his bedroom, Takumi is nowhere in sight. Shutting the door behind him, he turns on the bedside lamp and gazes around in search of his companion—ah, the bathroom door is shut. He must be changing. At his sides, Leo’s fingers give an involuntary twitch as he moves to sit on the edge of the bed, eyes staring intently at the door. What could Takumi have picked out to wear? Something dressy? No, he thinks; that hardly seems like his former rival’s style. Maybe just a simple tank and shorts. Yes, a wife-beater, perhaps—one that exposed Takumi’s attractive, archery-toned arms. The thought makes his fingers clasp more tightly to the sheets. Is his desire so illogical? They had been dating for a few months already—many people have already slept together at this point in a relationship. Not to mention the fact that he and Takumi have a history together, as it is. And it’s not like either of them are at risk of getting pregnant. Really, the more he considers it, the less absurd it seems.

The light _click_ of the bathroom door snaps him from his reverie.

“—Leo?”

Leo’s mouth grows dry, and behind pursed lips, his tongue curls carnally against his palate. Standing in the bathroom doorway is Takumi, awkwardly shifting weight from leg to leg as Leo’s eyes settle in on his current state of dress. A pair of old shorts snugly hugs his hips, cropping tightly just above the knee; the waistband of his (likely still damp) briefs peeks up above the fabric. An old Nohr company t-shirt hangs from his shoulders, a little ill-fitting but still very much wearable (Leo almost chuckles at the sight, both out of the irony of the shirt he has chosen and the alluring way that Takumi wears his name across his chest). Takumi’s ponytail is somewhat disheveled, almost begging to be set free as it sways damply with each fleeting movement of his head.

Leo finds that he can’t look away. _Gods_ , Takumi could pull off any look, couldn’t he? Conversely, Leo would happily _pull any look off_ of him, at this point, but makes no motion to do so. At least, not yet. Despite the yearning for physical contact crawling along his nerves, he _did_ invite Takumi over for a more important reason, and his head must come before his heart or his hormones.  


That said, it really doesn’t make this any easier.

“You should see your face right now.” Takumi speaks again, quiet but sure, snapping Leo from his trance. A knowing, demure smirk tugs at the older man’s lips.

“Can’t be any worse than yours,” Leo retorts almost reflexively, though even he knows that he hardly means it. Swallowing hard, he shifts a little atop the mattress and lowers his eyes to the floor. Have a little willpower, Leo. “You chose that shirt on purpose.”

“ _Uh-huh._ ” With a small chuckle, Takumi takes slow, small steps towards Leo, made evident to the latter by the slightest _thump_ of feet against the hardwood floor. They have a lot to discuss, Leo reminds himself, and trying to rope Takumi into sex would completely divert from the topic at hand. They can’t just let this conversation go unspoken, especially considering the role that communication (or the incredible lack thereof) played in their previous split. Even so, it’s becoming increasingly _fucking impossible_ to focus on anything of the sort with Takumi standing in _his_ room, wearing _his_ clothes, after so many years of merely imagining it. “You, uh… You like it?”

A pair of slender, bow-calloused hands settle softly against either side of his face, coaxing his attention back upward to his lover. Leo suddenly feels… _Small_. Ordinarily, he would shun the feeling at all costs, lest he risk his anxiety flaring up and ultimately lose the upper hand on his adversary. And yet… Somehow, he thinks that maybe, just this once, it’s okay to feel this way. If he’s going to be this much of an utter _mess_ around anyone, then he’s grateful that it’s with Takumi.

Frowning slightly, Leo purses his lips and wills his gaze from the floor at last. It takes but one look to tell that his former rival is having the same sorts of urges as he is. For once, he wishes his mind would stop hyper-analyzing the situation and just _let it happen_ , but—

Takumi’s lips claim his for the briefest of moments, gradually easing him out of the comfort of his own mind. “Guess the soup’s gonna have to wait, huh?”

“It’s _stew…_ ” As the petty correction slips past his lips, so does Leo’s every hesitation. Exhaling, he reaches a hand up to grip the front of Takumi’s t-shirt and gives it a little tug. “Get down here.”

“Yeah...?” Though he tries to hide it, the eagerness in Takumi’s voice filters through. “W-Well… Why don’t you make me, _Nohr_? Let’s see what you got.”

At that, Leo exhales again, more deeply than before. Leave it to Takumi to make a challenge out of it. Well, either way—he’s never been one to back down from a game of willpower.

Tightening his grip on the t-shirt, he yanks his arm back toward his body, crashing Takumi’s lips into his own—in his fervor, their teeth clack once, and both wince at the sensation.

Alright, maybe a little _less_ willpower.

Casting his boyfriend an apologetic glance, Leo scoots back on the bed, instead grabbing Takumi’s wrist and dragging him down with him. As Takumi dips to kneel on the mattress, Leo tugs him down for another kiss, almost immediately prodding at the other’s lips with the tip of his tongue. It feels to Leo as if his every nerve has been set ablaze, and it almost startles him at first—there’s something between them, now, that has been subdued in previous sessions of snogging one another. Could it truly be nothing more than pent-up anticipation for whatever is yet to come? It’s a little bewildering, but he isn’t one to complain.

Takumi crawls comfortably on top of him, pressing him into the gentle embrace of the bed as he returns the kiss. Smiling against Leo’s lips, he opens his mouth and meets Leo’s tongue halfway with his own, lapping arrhythmically at the intruding muscle and _gods_ , the very sound of it is doing wild things to Leo’s mind. He had almost forgotten that Takumi isn’t as unpracticed at these sorts of things as he is; it is, at once, both daunting and somewhat enticing.

The Nohr son breaks off for a moment’s breath, struggling to decide between easing his lungs or swallowing. Be it their current positions or his own inexperience, Leo can’t help but feel somewhat unsettled, and despite his desire to continue on like this, there can be none of that. Reaching a hand around Takumi’s head, he hooks a finger into the remaining hair tie and attempts, in vain, to work it loose.

“Takumi, it won’t…?”

“Uh, right…” Takumi sits upright for a moment, adjusting himself to straddle Leo’s lap. He reaches behind his head and unties the string, gently coaxing it through his hair to avoid knots. Setting it on the bedside table, he peers back down at Leo and reaches out to remove the other’s headband as well. “It’s… A little hard to get, if you don’t know what you’re doing.”

Leo only nods at that, finding himself somewhat captivated by watching Takumi take such care in removing it. He’s always so _careful_ when he needs to be. It’s almost a bit funny, considering how brash he can be at times. Then again, he supposes it’s just one of the many things that makes him “Takumi”.

Letting his hair fall however it may, Takumi leans down and closes the gap again, sighing audibly into Leo’s mouth and sending a fresh tension to his groin. Another kiss. Another. A lick. A bite. A kiss. It’s absolutely maddening, each playing with each other in a lacking desire to let the other get the upper hand. It goes on like that for some time before Leo grows impatient; his brows furrow slightly as gentle puffs of breath pass ceaselessly between them, and when Takumi leans down for another kiss, Leo turns his head.

“You’re toying with me…” he growls, and reaches up to grab a loose fistful of Takumi’s hair at the back of the scalp. Giving a tentative tug, Leo cranes his neck and presses an open-mouth kiss to the other’s jaw, lightly nipping at the delicate expanse of skin. “Am I… doing it right?”

To answer the question, Takumi lowers his hips flush against him, seeking more contact with Leo’s body. “I’ve… definitely had _worse_.”

At that, Leo’s cheeks grow hot. He knows that, logically, he shouldn’t be so uncertain about any of this. He knows that Takumi probably doesn’t care how “good” he is at any of it, but that doesn’t ease his own uncertainties. Decidedly, he says nothing more on the matter and returns to his ministrations on Takumi’s skin, dragging his mouth down to his companion’s throat and lightly sucking in a breath.

“Heh heh...” As Takumi chuckles, Leo’s lips tingle against his neck. “I think I’ve learned something important about you today.”

The blond lowers his head from his partner’s throat, raising an eyebrow inquiringly at the sudden notion. “And that would be…?”

“Apparently, this is the best way to shut you up.” Dropping his forehead to Leo’s chest, he stifles back a small bout of throaty laughter. “Heh. You’re just… even quieter than usual. Not that I’m not enjoying it, but… you know you can have a little fun with it, right?”

Propping himself up on his elbows, Leo licks his lips and tries to clear the haze at the forefront of his mind. Something about Takumi’s tone seems almost indicative of something. “You have something in mind.”

“Nothing specific, _but…_ ” Takumi folds his arms across his chest, shifting a little atop Leo’s lap; the blond’s breath catches at the motion. “If you can swallow your pride for a while, I’d be happy to take over.”

It takes a moment or so for Takumi’s suggestion to fully register, but when it does, Leo’s first response is to question it entirely. Frankly, he can’t make any sense of it, and he doesn’t think it has anything to do with how clouded his mind is right now. For one thing, this is _Takumi_. Takumi, who craves attention and affection even _more_ than he does. Why would his former rival want to take complete control, unless Leo is just _that bad_ at this? Not that he has an issue with that—quite the contrary—but he can’t help but wonder. “Can I ask why?”

“Because I want to,” he states plainly, and plays absently with the hem of Leo’s shirt. “You seem really tense, and I want to help you wind down.”

“And?”

Takumi pouts a little at that. “What makes you think there’s a catch?”

“Because with you, that’s almost a given.” One corner of Leo’s lips quirks upward, despite himself.

“... Well, okay. Maybe I’m proud, too.” As he speaks, Takumi’s hands slip beneath Leo’s shirt, snaking from his stomach to his chest and back in a rhythmic motion. “Maybe I want to break through that stupid Nohr pride of yours.”

That’s enough to earn him a humored look from Leo, whose lips part in a shaky intake of breath as Takumi’s hands begin to roam. Okay, so the thought of Takumi completely taking over him has crossed his mind on a number of occasions. Nevertheless, not knowing their strengths or preferences yet, he isn’t quite ready to admit it outwardly. “Now you’re just being ridiculous.”

“Oh, please. I give you ten minutes, tops, before you’re begging for it.”

Leo scoffs at that, and opens his mouth to retort, but Takumi silences him with another kiss. Guess Takumi’s really taking that “sex makes you quiet” observation to heart. Then again… He’s not exactly _wrong_ , either. It’s a bit difficult to focus on much else when there’s a pair of teeth working at his already-swollen lips. As a throaty, stifled groan slips from his chest, he feels another soft tug at the hem of his shirt.

“Hey, Leo, put your arms up.”

Catching on quickly enough, Leo reaches down, grabs the hem of his shirt, and pulls it off by himself. Takumi follows in suit and discards the shirt off the side of the bed, exposing his upper torso to his lover below. Shuddering, Leo drinks in the sight of Takumi’s bare frame looming above him, and a tightness grows in his pants. A lifetime of shooting a bow had done _wonders_ for the other’s upper body, resulting in tightly toned arms and, presumably, an equally muscled back. Yet, somehow, he looks far from lopsided, with just enough definition to his body to make Leo feel somewhat lesser, given his own physical fitness.

Even so… something about this doesn’t feel quite right.

As such, he sits upright, lightly squirming out from under Takumi and sitting criss-cross before him. “Meet me at a compromise.”

Confusedly, Takumi mimics Leo and moves to kneel in front of him. A look of apprehension passes over his face. “Compromise...?”

“Neither of us takes control. Not this time, at least.” Wincing slightly at the growing tightness in his pants, Leo bites back a whimper and clears his throat in its place, though finds it comes out much more strangled than he had hoped. “Equal give and take.”

“... Yeah?” Takumi peers uncertainly at the other, as if mulling over this option in his mind. “Alright. Just…” He trembles a little, leaning forward to press his forehead against Leo’s shoulder. As feather-light breaths puff against his skin, Leo gazes down to find Takumi’s bare arms encircling his midsection, holding tight to his lover in this sudden moment of weakness.  “I just want this to go well, whatever happens.”

One of Leo’s brows rises in perplexity, but he lifts his own arms and returns the embrace, letting one hand rise to sift soothing fingers through Takumi’s hair. He can’t imagine where this surge of emotions has come from, but for the ever-guarded Hoshido to lay himself bare like this, something _must_ be eating away at him. Takumi trusts him wholeheartedly, and he knows from past experience how difficult that trust can be to fully earn. “Takumi…?”

“I haven’t…” Takumi’s breath hitches as Leo drags trimmed fingernails lightly along the contours of his back. “... I haven’t done anything like this since Scarlet passed. She used to say stuff like that, too… Equal give and take.”

Ah, so that’s it. It makes sense that Takumi may be having emotional disconnect between his former and current love. Even though a few years have passed, if his boyfriend hasn’t done anything _this_ intimate since then, it’s only natural that he may not be completely ready for full-blown sex. Softly sighing against Takumi’s hair, Leo presses a small kiss to his temple. “You don’t have any obligation to me.”

“That’s not what I’m saying.” Takumi shakes his head. “I _do_ want to. I just...   _Urgh_ , I don’t know!” He draws his teeth over his lower lip, biting back a gasp as Leo’s tongue skims the shell of his ear. “... I-I want… I…” Their lips meet again, slow and deliberate and sweet as Leo tries to coax him back into the previous mood. “Leo, I… I’m sorry.”

At that, Leo sighs. “Stop beating yourself up over nothing.”

“But… you still don’t get it!” Takumi shoves Leo’s shoulder and turns away from him, hanging his head in dismay. “I love you, and I get what you’re saying. I want to _give_ you everything. But… That’s just it, isn’t it? You deserve more than I can ever give you. I wanted to prove myself wrong tonight. But I’m still just… Takumi. Third son of Hoshido, a single parent—what can I give you that you couldn’t find with anyone else?”

Where is all of this coming from? Leo can’t help but wonder. He has known for years that Takumi has a particular set of insecurities, but for all of them to suddenly come out, in the middle of this…? It’s catches him entirely off-guard, and for some time, they simply sit there, both half-hard, both uncertain what else to say. Takumi is wrong, led astray by his own self-doubts, but how can Leo possibly convey to him that fact? Comforting others isn’t exactly his strongest suit.

With a quick intake of breath, Leo reaches outward and holds his hand toward Takumi, brushing the hair from the other’s face; Takumi flinches at the unexpected touch, but otherwise makes no motion to resist. “Come here.”

“Why?” Takumi mutters, casting his gaze to the side.

“Just _trust_ me.”

A look of hesitation passes across Takumi’s features for a moment, and he opens his mouth to quip back, but cannot bring himself to do so. After a few seconds of stunted silence, Takumi sighs audibly and complies, absently fidgeting in his lap.  “What is it?”

“This is supposed to be fun.” Leo’s lips curl into a small smirk, but his eyes remain affectionate all the same. “You said it, yourself.”

“But…”

A frustrated growl resounds from Leo’s throat, effectively silencing Takumi for a time. Truth be told, Leo still isn’t _entirely_ certain where to go from here, but… Well, he has a basic idea of where to start (this is, perhaps, one of the few moments in which Niles has been his saving grace—he can’t _imagine_ going into this blindly). Anticipation building up in his groin, Leo lowers his hands and undoes the front clasp of Takumi’s shorts.

Impulsively, Takumi’s fingers clasp around Leo’s wrists, uncertainty crossing over his face. “Leo, you don’t—”

“I want to,” Leo interrupts. This entire situation is almost surreal, and within him, a doubt of sorts begins to broil. Nevertheless, he does his best to will it down and, swallowing back another wave of lust, begins to palm at Takumi’s clothed erection. “Maybe I’m a little selfish, too.”

“Leo, you...” Takumi’s hands clamp onto Leo’s bare shoulders for leverage, and a pleasured gasp racks his body. With quick breaths, he bucks his hips up into the other’s hand, slowly succumbing to the sweet friction against his cock. ”You’re sure…?”

The erratic recoil of Takumi’s hips is enough to turn Leo’s mouth to sandpaper. Reaching down to unbutton his own pants, he nods slowly and repositions his hand at the waistband of Takumi’s shorts. He carefully hooks a finger through a belt loop and gives it an implicative tug. “Entirely.”

Finally registering Leo’s response, Takumi makes a face that Leo can only assume is meant to be guilty; however, in the midst of his arousal, it winds up looking far more erotic than he probably intended. Nevertheless, Takumi shifts to remove his bottoms, followed soon thereafter by his briefs. Exhaling steadily, he sets the discarded clothing on the floor and glances sheepishly back at Leo, wholly on display in more ways than one. He scowls suddenly. “Wha—hey! What do you think you’re doing?”

“Right…” The younger man’s trance is broken, and his eyes rise curiously, _lazily_ back to Takumi’s face. His heart thrums incessantly against his chest, and a faint blush spreads hotly across his cheeks. Had he been staring…? Is he still staring now? But, truly, can Takumi blame him? He feels, at once, awkward and allured. It’s one thing to imagine Takumi naked on his bed, but actually having him here? It’s unsettling in the best way he can process.

Holding his breath, Leo repositions himself for a moment and strips down as well, tossing his pants and boxer briefs aside.  “Sorry, it’s just… hard not to stare.”

“That’s probably the corniest thing I’ve ever heard you say…” Takumi shakes his head in disbelief, though the slight smile playing at his lips betrays his tone. The sight elicits a sigh of relief from Leo, who returns the half-smile with a low snigger. Shakily drawing in a breath, Takumi moves to sit in front of the headboard, leaning his back comfortably against it as he eases himself back into the mood. His eyes drag up and down Leo’s frame a few times. “That said… You’re pretty easy on the eyes, yourself.”

“That was just as corny.” Smirking wider at that, Leo scoots over to sit in front of him, snickering again at the absurdity of the other’s words. He’s just grateful that Takumi is beginning to ease out of his prior distresses. Fingers twitching against the mattress, Leo moves nearer still, leaning forward a little as his mind begins to fog again. “But also true.”

“ _Hmm…_ ” Takumi gives a little hum and sinks slightly further against the headboard. “You’re really too much, sometimes...”

Leo’s pulse quickens at the praise. If that wasn’t an ego-stroke, he doesn’t know what is. All he _does_ know are two things: firstly, his mind is finally clearing enough for him to focus on the task at hand, and lastly, he wants to hear more of _that_. If he’s being completely honest, he wants to hear more of _a lot of things_ from the other. Growling, whimpering, _gasping_ his name—

His tongue flicks out to remoisten his lips; he takes a small satisfaction in the way Takumi’s eyes fixate so keenly on his mouth. Guess this is as good a time as any to carry on.

As his breath grows more labored, Leo lowers himself, a look of apprehension crossing over his face. Takumi must have followed his gaze, for the moment he glances up at his older companion, Leo notes the knowing bewilderment flaring in his eyes. “Leo… You really don’t…”

“Enough of that,” Leo grumbles, though his tone is mild. His attention focuses more wholly on Takumi, knowing fully well how attuned he’ll have to be to his partner before too long. “You talk _too much_ during sex.”

“Hmph. Guess we’re a good fit, then.”

Clearing his thoughts again, Leo casts another small smirk at his former rival and wraps his hand loosely around the base of Takumi’s cock; the strangled sigh that flutters past the other’s lips is signal enough for him to continue.

Tentatively, he dips his head, drops his gaze from his lover’s, and takes Takumi into his mouth.

The strangled whine that cascades from Takumi’s lips draws a fresh warmth up to Leo’s face.  As much as he may have fantasized in the past, it is another thing entirely to hear such lewd noises coming from his lover in reality—and to know that, ultimately, _he’s_ the one drawing out these sounds of pleasure. Smugly smiling to himself, he pumps his hand a few times and gives the underside of the head an experimental lick, arduously slow in his actions as his mind struggles to remember exactly how this is supposed to be done. It’s one thing to research the subject (and get all-too-detailed advice on the matter from his best friend), but to actually do so…?

“You don’t… have to…” Takumi mutters, reaching a hand down to comb idly through Leo’s hair as his younger companion presses a kiss to the side. His voice has long since grown hoarse with arousal. “I know it’s not easy… to…”

Growling contentedly at the fingers gripping his hair, Leo encircles him with his lips, doing his best to keep his teeth out of the equation as he bobs his head down again. He knows perfectly well that he doesn’t _have_ to do any of this. Perhaps, if he were in a different state of mind, or with anyone else, he _wouldn’t_. And yet, as he slides his mouth off of Takumi to wipe the excess saliva from his lips, he peers up at his lover and _knows_ that he wants to do this. To do whatever he can to show Takumi that, despite his own emotional failings and selfish nature, he desires little more than to share this special bliss between them. Takumi has laid himself bare tonight, and for that, he deserves all that Leo can give him.

He knows not how long they go on like this, giving and receiving amidst the dins of pleasure and the wet echos of Leo’s mouth as it tenderly laves Takumi’s cock in heat. Twice, he hears Takumi’s breath hitch—once in a repressed hiss as Leo’s teeth get in the way, and once in a soft, pleasured chuckle. It’s absolutely _vexing_ , and the way that his name spills in whispers from Takumi’s lips is almost enough stimulation, alone, to strain his own erection as it presses longingly against the mattress. However, it isn’t until he feels the other’s hand clench in his hair that he is drawn fully from the task at hand.

“Leo, wait.”

A gentle urgency greets Leo’s ears, and he lets the hand in his hair drag him breathlessly from the throes of oral stimulation. Grimacing, he wipes his mouth again and bites back a grunt of frustration. As much as he has relished in pleasing Takumi, his own arousal has gone neglected long enough to become quite uncomfortable, craving the hot friction of his lover’s touch. “What? Was it… any good…?”

“You’re kidding, right?” Rolling his eyes, Takumi sits upright a bit more and curls his fingers into the sheets. His chest heaves and depresses with each labored breath, lust lacing his every syllable as he casts his eyes on Leo. “I don’t know _how_ you learned to do that—I don’t think I _want_ to know, to be honest—but ‘good’ doesn’t begin to cover it.”

Leo chuckles complacently at that, moving up to a sitting position as well. “Then, why…?”

“I…” Takumi clears his throat, frowning slightly as he musters up the right way to say what’s on his mind. With another deep breath, he brings his other hand up to stroke Leo’s hair, eliciting a shiver down both of their spines. “I want to touch you, too… Tell me what you want _me_ to do. I’ll do anything.”

The tone in which Takumi speaks makes Leo’s arousal twitch, and he takes a moment’s time to consider the options. There is a plethora of things he would love to try with his former rival, but they could explore his more _outlandish_ desires in time. But for the time being…? With Takumi outright suppressing his pride as a Hoshido and as _himself_ to be ordered by Leo? The very notion makes his skin crawl in the best way.

“Heh, well…” Leo begins, leering at his boyfriend with a short laugh. He has a few more questionable ideas, but he would rather they both feel pleasured from the remainder of this session, and… Well, he’d be lying if he said that he hadn’t prepared himself for _other things_ tonight, just in case. “Honestly? I want you to fuck me.”

Leo wishes he could commit to memory the face that Takumi makes. Laughing heartily, he inches nearer still, pinning the Hoshido son up against the headboard and crawling into his lap. “Takumi? What, did I break you?”

“... You just might’ve.” Earnestly returning the snigger, he lets his hands drifts down from Leo’s scalp, instead opting to reposition his lower half more comfortably beneath his partner’s. “You know, I think you’ve surprised me more in the past half-hour than you have in the past ten years.”

Leo eyes the nightstand to Takumi’s right, humming contentedly at the notion. “It’s fun, keeping you guessing.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Following his gaze, Takumi pulls the drawer open and grabs a tube of lubricant. Carefully uncapping the bottle, Takumi squeezes some of it onto his hand, rubbing it between his fingers to warm it. “Not that I don’t appreciate it, but sometimes I wonder why I even humor you.”

Lungs catching, Leo feels Takumi’s fingers reach behind him, ghosting along his skin as he massages his entrance. With a last glance into his lover’s eyes, Takumi sinks a finger inside of him, frowning at the scrunched face that Leo makes. “Uh… did I use enough?”

“You’re fine.” Sighing softly, Leo envelops Takumi’s shoulders in his arms, holding tightly to him as he adjusts to the sensation. It’s not a pain, per say, and nothing he’s never done to himself, but this time… Well, perhaps the intimacy of it all is getting to him, a little. Desperate for friction, he grinds capriciously against Takumi’s stomach, burying his face in the other’s hair. From behind gritted teeth, he hisses, “Get _on_ with it.”

“Excuse _me_ for not wanting to hurt you. Jerk.” Despite his words, Takumi turns his head and languidly glides his mouth along Leo’s neck; the latter shudders at the sincerity and tightens his grip on Takumi’s shoulders. Yes, his companion has expressed many-a times before how much love he holds for him, but this has only solidified it. For once in his life, he feels genuinely, ardently _adored_ , and… well, truth be told, Leo isn’t completely certain how to react.

Beneath him, Takumi removes his fingers and reaches for the lube again, slathering his cock in the cool liquid with a gratified grunt. He lowers his swollen lips from Leo’s throat for a few seconds’ time to focus on the task at hand. “Are you ready?”

“I’ve been ready for ten years. _Get. on. with. it._ ”

“R-Right… Here we go…” Gradually talking himself into it, Takumi shifts his hips once more and, digging his fingers into his lover’s taut thighs, slowly slides himself into Leo’s entrance. “ _Gods_ , this is… I’m in.”

For an inkling of time, Leo’s body goes rigid. It _does_ feel different, he thinks, from the few times he’s done this to himself. Not bad or truly painful, really, just… _Different_. He holds tighter to Takumi’s shoulders, letting a near-inaudible grumble resonate from his chest. “Move.”

“What, you don’t need to adjust, or...?”

“ _Takumi_!” At this point, he’s almost certain that Takumi is merely being a tease. “Move, or I’m doing it myself.”

Drawing in a careful breath, Takumi nods his head and begins to move, ramming up into Leo with steady, pronounced movements. Biting back a low growl, the younger man grips Takumi’s shoulders more tightly with the tips of his fingers, leaving pale imprints in the other’s skin as his urgency grows frantic. As their rhythm picks up bit by bit, Leo lets his head drop, claiming Takumi’s lips with his own as a shared ecstasy channels between their bodies. Relinquishing his mouth with a wet smack, the blond manages to speak, consumed by thoughts half-shrouded by the sounds and scents of sex. “I win, b-by the way.”

Takumi’s eyebrows screw up in bafflement, a soft sound of confusion slipping from his tongue. “You win?”

“It’s been _much_ longer than ten minutes,” Leo goads, arching his back suddenly as Takumi grazes his prostate. His tongue flicks out to remoisten his lips, jerking his hips harder in emphasis. “Bested again by Leo Noh—”

His name fades into a lascivious groan as Takumi reaches between their bodies, running calloused fingers along the underside of his arousal. Well. _That’s_ not a sound he ever thought he would make. Falling back into rhythm to the best of his ability, Leo lets his head drop to Takumi’s scalp again. “Harder. Don’t stop.”

His words seem to spurn his partner on, for in the throes of bliss and bewilderment, Takumi rebounds his hips faster, breathlessly panting into Leo’s shoulder. Leo can only assume by the other’s silence that he’s close. The very notion elicits another soft noise to flit past his lips, which in turn move to capture Takumi’s once more; their kisses are choppy, clumsy, each seeking a personal bliss drawn from the essence of ravishing the other. Never before has Leo felt such inexplicable _comfort_ in the susceptibility of another—in the susceptibility of _himself_.  For all of his lifetime of putting up fronts and cowering behind a false confidence, Leo’s _everything_ has been unfurled in the course of mere minutes.

And perhaps the strangest aspect of all? He cannot _fathom_ a better way to be undone.

Stifled by Leo’s lips, a euphoric whimper tumbles from Takumi’s tongue as, at last, the release of orgasm seizes his cock. Erratically thrusting his hips, he mouths Leo’s name against the other’s skin and gently, gradually, melts into Leo’s embrace. The very sight is nearly enough to send Leo over the edge as well, and it takes but a half-minute of steady pumps from Takumi’s hand before Leo is ushered into release. A carnality courses through his veins as he finishes in his lover’s hand; his toes curl tensely and his fingernails plunge into the flesh of Takumi’s back. If it weren’t for the steady creak of the bed beneath their quaking bodies, Leo thinks, he may not have come back down to reality from the ecstasy of it all—looking back, he would find it hard to quantify, to put into _any_ comprehensible words.

In silence, they remain as they were for a short time—enveloped entirely in the embrace of the other. Leo is the first to shift, lifting himself off of Takumi and collapsing onto the mattress beside him; it isn’t long until his partner follows in suit, sinking into the sheets with another small shudder. Their mingled panting reverberates off of the walls of the otherwise silent room, each still too exhilarated to say much of anything.

Rolling onto his stomach, Leo takes a deep breath and exhales audibly, finally meeting Takumi’s gaze with a small, sober smile. “... Hey.”

“... Yes?” Takumi inquires, his voice still a bit husky from earlier. He lazily lifts his head from the pillow, eyeing Leo’s face with an unreadable expression. “What?”

“I… don’t know.” Laughing breathlessly at his own incoherence, Leo shifts closer and nuzzles his face warmly into Takumi’s bare shoulder. “I don’t think my head’s ever been clearer.”

At that, Takumi hesitates, staring listlessly at the ceiling. “Is that… a good thing?”

“Are you kidding?” Leo’s brows knit incredulously as he props himself up on his elbows. Leaning over his partner’s body, he peers down upon Takumi’s face with smiling eyes. Perhaps this is what it’s like—that deepest feeling of love so often glorified throughout time in journals, in novels. Leo has always regarded them as little more than that—overly exaggerated expressions of love as a _oneness_ between two kindred souls. Even still, he thinks it sounds like total nonsense. Yet… As he lifts a hand to cup Takumi’s flushed cheek, he feels the ricochet of the other man’s heart against his chest, matching his almost perfectly in sync.

Whether Takumi can tell, he is not certain, but Leo is positive that he has _never_ felt rapture like this.

“It was more than sufficient for me,” he continues, idly delving his fingers into Takumi’s hair and stroking it evenly. It’s… a little captivating, if he’s completely honest with himself. How Takumi could stand having such long hair is beyond him; beautiful as it may be, it must be pain to maintain. “I couldn’t have asked for a better rival.”

Takumi’s mouth curls into a tiny, unsure smile at that. “What, because I can screw you? It’s not like that takes any special talent… Then again, you’re so _dead silent_ through most of it, maybe it _does_.” His chest heaves in a weak chuckle. “Not to mention the face you made when you came. If you _always_ look like that, I imagine it’d scare some people away.”

One of Leo’s brows rises in curiosity. “What are you talking about?”

“You looked like you had been stabbed or something,” Takumi answers with another short laugh. He shakes his head, nonchalantly raising his hand and running the pad of his thumb across Leo’s bottom lip. “Though… I thought it was kind of hot.”

Yawning, Leo smirks at that. His eyelids droop a little as fatigue curls itself around his muscles. “So you’re saying that _my getting stabbed_ would turn you on? Never thought _I_ would be more vanilla than you.”

“That’s not what I said, and you know it. Smartass.” He light bops Leo upside the head. “Though… I meant what I said earlier, about giving me the upper hand, for once. I wouldn’t mind it, if you were up to letting me do that. Someday.”

“Even in _that_ , we’re a good fit for each other. I may take you up on it.” Leo grunts and repositions himself to lay beside Takumi again, throwing an arm around his middle. They’re both disgusting, marred by sweat and by fluid, but he’s far too comfortable to care much right now. Sighing against Takumi’s skin, he lets his eyes slip shut for a moment, relishing the embrace of the mattress against his feeble body. “... Your face was soft.”

“Soft?”

“Yes,” Leo affirms with confidence. “I’m not used to seeing you like that. At peace. It suits you well.”

And he meant it, truly. Even as far back as high school, Takumi has always had seemed so… discomforted? As if there has been this constant distress eating away at him from within, though he rarely ever vocalizes it.

At his commentary, however, Takumi turns away from him and avoids his stare. “I forgot myself. When I’m around you, I…” He swallows thickly and shuts his eyes; Leo watches the steady bob of his adam’s apple as he struggles to find the words to say. “Sometimes I think I forget that I’m even _me_ , when I’m with you. It seems so impossible...”

“Takumi—”

“Leo, I love you... And I’m sorry. For everything.”

The conflict in Takumi’s voice has returned, and Leo’s heart sinks in his chest at the realization. What he wouldn’t give to alleviate whatever it is that has plagued the son of Hoshido for so long… Sadly, he isn’t entirely certain that it’s anything within his capability. If he cannot even shake his own troubles, then there’s little chance he could help his partner.  This is presumably something that runs deeper, a feeling that has buried itself inside of Takumi’s soul, feeding off of him like a parasite. It’s nothing that Leo can control.

They still need to have a discussion about it, as he still notices the communication barrier between them, but for the time being, he is content enough with this.

Leo lets his eyelids slip shut, thoughts quelled by the soothing lull of Takumi’s heartbeat.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It may be a few weeks between this update and the next, as I have finals coming up. As always, please add kudos or comment if you liked it and/or want to give feedback!  
> Thank you so much for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I have no idea how frequently I'll be able to work on this, as I am a college junior with internship apps, exams, and general life stressors plaguing my everyday desire to write. I've also never written for this fandom, or for these characters, so I hope they aren't too OOC. That said, expect more whenever I have the time!
> 
>  
> 
> I am on tumblr at [quarrelswithquills.tumblr.com](http://quarrelswithquills.tumblr.com/). Feel free to follow me or track the tag ["fic cauterized"](https://www.tumblr.com/search/fic+cauterized) to keep up with my update schedule.
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> (Also, please add a comment or kudos, if you enjoyed it, or have any feedback. Thank you!)
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> Until next time!


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